By tkghan - 02/08/2013 14:53 - United States - Concord

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 451
You deserved it 6 164

Same thing different taste

Top comments

vballgirly28 16

That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.

helpfulwhale 12

She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?


vballgirly28 16

That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.

You miserable human obviously she realized that cats are more superior and came to that conclusion

ILoveMyArm 15

What do you have against us cats? And just to let you know we are very flexible and loving partners.

Are you people REALLY doing this? Really?

Don't judge, Doc. You could join in as a coke bottle shoved up someone's bum. I'm sure we would all be very entertained with your titillating tales.

Tales? I have no tales. Who told you I have tales? LIES!

Wizardo 33

Nice try Doc, tell the guys about that time in Greece with that cute little med student and your first Coke Volcano.

I once had a cat... He got ring worm and bled to death...

flockz 19

well this thread just went to a weird place.

guess she decided getting clawed in her nether region while sitting around the house naked felt pretty good after all

^^^Do you not follow this surgical genius? I don't actually know how good a surgeon he actually is. But he deals with dumbasses all the time and hasn't killed himself yet. So he's probably intellectually gifted and knows what he's doing

helpfulwhale 12

She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?

ILoveMyArm 15

Her curiosity did not kill the cat this time.

You guys have gotta be kitten me with these puns!

She may have let the cat outta the bag, but maybe she wants to let it IN the vag o_0

Try confronting her about it, I mean why would 2 people dislike you if there wasn't a reason at all

PterodactylMan 23

Rumors, that usually starts everything

I would guess that an average human being older than, say, 7 is disliked by a lot more than just two people.

True, but it's a bit different when one of them is your own girlfriend.

Wittledinosaure 7

Let her be with her cat, I'd say that's a good thing she left you.

Hahahahaha. have you tried the 12 taco thing from taco bell? Those are freaking awesome. There's like 12 tacos in the box and then you eat them lmao dude.

Wittledinosaure 7

He's probably high. He's talking about taco bell after all

My first thought was: Maybe you are an idiot and thats why you have no idea why she broke up with you. Or shes just a total bitch, and her friends are too.

That's awful. Nobody deserves to get dumped over text.

hcollins1 18

Coming from someone that has been dumped over a text, people can be *******.

That's why she's in a relationship with one.

I was dumped over Facebook... I would rather have gotten a breakup text honestly. At least it's a tiny bit more personal.

Actually that could have been a mass text (accident or not). At least it didn't go to anyone else as well.

Lol maybe he wouldn't answer the phone.

What the hell? This is wrong on so many levels

TheDrifter 23

Whole new meaning to getting a little tail?

Wizardo 33

Smells like a hint of **********... mixed with essence of bitch and an aftertaste of complete moron.

Wizardo 33

That is a possibility but strictly speaking animagus's normally turn into flesh eating werewolves not docile cats.

Wizardo 33

#59 Yep I realised my mistake too late but I just confused by my memory of the scene were Hermione explains what an animagus and werewolf is, the elective and forced sides to the transformations. Its been years since I've seen the films or read the books :/

She did a horrible thing OP, no doubt about it. But seriously, her cat?! Better off out of it.

wow dude. sorry to read that. it is a little funny though. ...