By tkghan - 02/08/2013 14:53 - United States - Concord

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 453
You deserved it 6 166
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Top comments

vballgirly28 16

That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.

247 5
helpfulwhale 12

She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?

128 6

Comments

vballgirly28 16

That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.

247 5
Blackcatluck 19

You miserable human obviously she realized that cats are more superior and came to that conclusion

85 11
ILoveMyArm 15

What do you have against us cats? And just to let you know we are very flexible and loving partners.

63 6
DocBastard 38

Are you people REALLY doing this? Really?

64 13
Welshite 39

Don't judge, Doc. You could join in as a coke bottle shoved up someone's bum. I'm sure we would all be very entertained with your titillating tales.

43 3
DocBastard 38

Tales? I have no tales. Who told you I have tales? LIES!

46 9
Wizardo 33

Nice try Doc, tell the guys about that time in Greece with that cute little med student and your first Coke Volcano.

37 2
TheWildRover1 12

I once had a cat... He got ring worm and bled to death...

6 43
flockz 19

well this thread just went to a weird place.

64 0
truesarrif 33

guess she decided getting clawed in her nether region while sitting around the house naked felt pretty good after all

42 1
soccerstar1996 18

^^^Do you not follow this surgical genius? I don't actually know how good a surgeon he actually is. But he deals with dumbasses all the time and hasn't killed himself yet. So he's probably intellectually gifted and knows what he's doing

9 8
helpfulwhale 12

She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?

128 6
ILoveMyArm 15

Her curiosity did not kill the cat this time.

10 16
JACKxRAWR 22

You guys have gotta be kitten me with these puns!

19 9
gc327072 30

She may have let the cat outta the bag, but maybe she wants to let it IN the vag o_0

10 8
Blackcatluck 19

Try confronting her about it, I mean why would 2 people dislike you if there wasn't a reason at all

74 2
PterodactylMan 23

Rumors, that usually starts everything

13 0
Acik91 26

I would guess that an average human being older than, say, 7 is disliked by a lot more than just two people.

3 2
chosha_fml 26

True, but it's a bit different when one of them is your own girlfriend.

0 0
Wittledinosaure 7

Let her be with her cat, I'd say that's a good thing she left you.

31 2
hashshim 23

Hahahahaha. have you tried the 12 taco thing from taco bell? Those are freaking awesome. There's like 12 tacos in the box and then you eat them lmao dude.

5 10
Wittledinosaure 7

What the ****?

2 0
SammyS2012 21

He's probably high. He's talking about taco bell after all

1 0
ottokat 15

My first thought was: Maybe you are an idiot and thats why you have no idea why she broke up with you. Or shes just a total bitch, and her friends are too.

2 2
badassmf1234 22

That's awful. Nobody deserves to get dumped over text.

32 1
hcollins1 18

Coming from someone that has been dumped over a text, people can be *******.

9 0
onaa3r 10

That's why she's in a relationship with one.

12 1
cmayer 20

I was dumped over Facebook... I would rather have gotten a breakup text honestly. At least it's a tiny bit more personal.

5 1
MidnaLink 33

Actually that could have been a mass text (accident or not). At least it didn't go to anyone else as well.

0 1
webbface 25

Lol maybe he wouldn't answer the phone.

0 0
slooby_fml 25

What the hell? This is wrong on so many levels

11 10
TheDrifter 23

Whole new meaning to getting a little tail?

3 0
Wizardo 33

Smells like a hint of **********... mixed with essence of bitch and an aftertaste of complete moron.

52 2
Wizardo 33

That is a possibility but strictly speaking animagus's normally turn into flesh eating werewolves not docile cats.

1 14
Wizardo 33

#59 Yep I realised my mistake too late but I just confused by my memory of the scene were Hermione explains what an animagus and werewolf is, the elective and forced sides to the transformations. Its been years since I've seen the films or read the books :/

8 0
TheLittleBear 19

She did a horrible thing OP, no doubt about it. But seriously, her cat?! Better off out of it.

6 1
imbedderdenu 23

wow dude. sorry to read that. it is a little funny though. ...

2 13