Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tapeworms. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML
Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML
Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML
Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML
Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML
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Top comments
drkwlf 0
Which is disgusting.
superstephen4 5
oh dang. well it is the best weight loss program
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Comments (104)
staymintyfresh 13
at least you lost weight? nasty.
staymintyfresh 13
at least you lost weight? nasty.
ParkersGirl 0
oh that's gross
rottentomatoes 7
In all seriousness, that's one of my biggest fuxking fears..
rottentomatoes 7
In all seriousness, that's one of my biggest fuxking fears..
rottentomatoes 7
In all seriousness, that's one of my biggest fuxking fears..
lkrunner101 7
Fyl for loosing wieght
lalamike25 0
Lost weight= lost weight. Don't question it.
Scarlettkiss 8
Wow....that's dangerous! What about exercise?
Crazy_Cow_Chick 5
Some people would kill for those, the tapeworm diet and all