Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tapeworms. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML
Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML
Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML
Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML
Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML
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Top comments
drkwlf 0
Which is disgusting.
superstephen4 5
oh dang. well it is the best weight loss program
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Comments (104)
happykiddo20 0
but it's still gross :(
Starfire22 5
eeeeewwwwwwww.... well at least you lost weight
numen 0
Did they had any other bad effects? If not, just keep them till you lose enough weight ;)
TiniMartini 0
tapeworms can kill you... if an egg passes into a capillary it can go anywhere in your body. brain liver any vital organ. it will feed off of that blood supply which gone undisgnosed would lead to death
Anthrophobia 2
Weight or health? The fate's in your hands now.
turdburgers 0
blech. Hope you got to a doctor.
nickii1927 0
Thats grosss.......................................
allmidnighteyes 11
My toilet brings all tapeworms to the bowl and they're like, "it's longer than yours. Damn right, it's longer than yours." I can infect you, but I have to charge. My tapeworm is longer than yours.
Hexefrau 5
My tapeworm brings all the butts to the bowl A dry observation on society...people are lazy and stupid...and shallow. This entire thread proves it. There is something wrong with sad little girls that would rather ingest a frigging worm than take the time to work out and eat healthily. There is something wrong with folks that would encourage someone to ingest a parasite so they look "thin and hot"...and clearly, only one other person on the net understands atherosclerosis. One can be heavier than the recommended BMI and still be fit, just as one can be very slender and be unhealthy. Stupid worm eaters.
Zoomer117 1
You deffinately need to cook your meat more thoroughly thats how most people get worms by not cooking good enough
ASA5G 2
well at least you lost wieght