Miscellaneous: Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 804

You deserved it 59 534

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Same thing different taste

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 388

You deserved it 33 869

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 23:00 - Canada

Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 104

You deserved it 4 186

By samantha - 17/08/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 192

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 618

Safety first

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 03:30 - India

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 3

Malpractice

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 22:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 697

You deserved it 9 136

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2011 18:40 - United States

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 337

You deserved it 16 684

Judge Judy and executioner

By jessie star - 17/10/2022 18:00

Today, I'm pregnant. So far, I have been criticized about 20 times for “making poor choices.” Not only did we use a condom, I’m also on the pill, and have an IUD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 189

gc327072 30

Sunday 16 September 2012 19:16

And you didn't have sense enough to use ANYTHING up until now? YDI.

sarah6786 14

Sunday 16 September 2012 19:16

Too late . Congrats!

Comments

Praisethelawd 0

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:40

That really ******* sucks. Should have made that effort a long time ago.

superLEXsunshine 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:50

I feel sorry for you and wish you much luck with your new motherhood endeavors..

mrnuleef 7

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:56

Please at least step up to the plate when mommy time gets here or give that child to someone who will

Nanael_fml 4

Monday 17 September 2012 1:44

Just a reality check for you.... Mommy time started the minute they found out they were pregnant

scalleywag 2

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:59

Nice job, *****.

BlowinChronic 18

Monday 17 September 2012 0:07

YDI... Why did it take you so long to come to your senses? Better hope you really love the guy who's kid it is.

FalconSam1414 19

Monday 17 September 2012 0:10

YDI for being an idiot. Birth control is kinda to be used BEFORE sex. No sympathy here, girl.

Akoz23 5

Monday 17 September 2012 1:03

There is no way you don't deserve this.

Blue329 15

Monday 17 September 2012 1:11

Shit just got real

etchsanity1 11

Monday 17 September 2012 1:11

At least you aren't fat... Yet

Missusluv313 9

Monday 17 September 2012 1:22

You're ******* kidding, right? There are far worse things to be than fat.

fmirza95 4

Monday 17 September 2012 1:20

Watch Juno.

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Fight Family Kids Love Relatable Students Work Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Cheating Pregnancy Teenagers Friends Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 183

The Top

Today, I've been trying to adopt a cat with little success since my last one died. My other cat, who had grown attached to him when she realized he was dying, has been lazier and more prone to seeking attention than before since he passed away. I now know cats can suffer from depression. I feel bad now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 114

Today, in an effort to try and be closer to my girlfriend's son, I bought him an expensive Xbox game I know he desperately wanted so we could play it together. He was excited, until he realised that I that paid for it. He snapped the disc and threw the pieces in the bin. At least I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 198

Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 178

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 330

You deserved it 38 264

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card, only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 350

You deserved it 4 710

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 995

You deserved it 46 786