Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Breathtaking view
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Susan
Canada
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Anonymous
Goose Creek, United States
Family portrait
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
ThisIsMyLife
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
SuperSleuth
Miami, United States
Hot air
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
byebyeromance
State College, United States
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Anonymous
The runs
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Lovergirl
United States
Clenched
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Top comments
JessBassett 24
That's cute..
permannator 10
Go into the bathroom and clean the toilet with his toothbrush then be like "this isn't what it looks like"
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Comments (69)
KrazyChica 3
lol he soooo wanted the sex
iwadasn 32
And he thought that was the way to get it?
SystemofaBlink41 27
I can tell you, it really doesn't work... If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry now.
kpc2424 13
Lmao! Then what does it look like??? His version of dry cleaning the pillow cases?
Getspmak 15
Oh yes it is!
MrsReed 14
That's when you wait until he's asleep, get in the 69 position and cut a good one in his face...when he wakes up and asks what the hell you're doing, say "It's not what it looks like!" On second thought, don't do that one because you'll never get oral again :/
BlackRogue 8
Just wait for him to leave the room, then go switch the pillows. When you go to bed, just crawl in and say "Goodnight dear, pleasant dreams." He'll be agonizing over your revenge and not realize that it's already been exacted.
crucianbaby 3
If that's love I'd hate to see what he does to someone he hates
Jjimen1654 9
You must have messed up his food. Its revenge.
thisgirl97 7
Lol Sorry but I laughed hysterically when I read this!
maximus_prime 24
Two things spring to mind OP, either you are recently married and you informed your husband that sex was no longer happening, or you've run out of toilet paper and he didn't want to use those leaves to wipe himself.
Brilliant66star 17
A true assclown.