By Devon - 20/05/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 334
You deserved it 22 929

Same thing different taste

Top comments

It sounds like you've been partying with Ke$ha.

cwmbear 0

was it smooth or crunchy peanut butter?


It sounds like you've been partying with Ke$ha.

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
chino627 0

14 he is a one man wolf pack

goddam it 14, stole the words from my mouth haha :)

ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0

it's not glitter in your hair...

PurpleRae420 0

And you really wanna know? You couldve been ****** a dude for all you know

well since all the witty jokes are gone I guess this Fml Is wiped clean

hobojo11 0

psh atleat you were not spooning a naked midget wile in a clow suit in a motel room with no car....

You, sir, have been raped by a vampire....

Takador 3

God dammit #1 stole my comment

Bite my nuts and call me Skippy! Skippy Squeeze!

TROLOLOL I was gonna say the same thing

number99 3

sounds like someone had some groundies

He should be happy he didn't wake up with butt plugs too.

laurbear12 3

14 you are gorgeous...and no I'm not a lesb :) just sayin

whippymcdumb4zs 0

that's what happens when u play with LSD

I was gonna say with Brittany spears but same idea :P

zendaddy0 0

or you just took a hit of Charlie sheen

monkeebalz 0

sounds like the hangover 3...

funnyFMLSplz 0

don't steal my awesome picture Kiran i'll eat you D:

Shytinonmyself 3

sounds like the plot of hangover 3

gunner83 1

I have had nights like that.

OP and Ke$ha danced with no pants on! HOLLER!

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Oohgaloof 0

The only explanation I can conjure is that your grandfather somehow drugged you unconscious, dress'd you up like a little glittery faerie princess, role playing that you somehow got caught stealing peanut butter and being naughty, so butt-f**king you as a punishment. Oh, and you tried to run but he caught up with you in the driveway. That's probably how it happened.

haha ^ just what i was thinking but i thought that was my life story O_O

gregmoran 0

I think your comment is awesome. don't listen to those silly pants.

uffiewuffie 0

You're not funny. The original comment was funnier.

just be glad you didn't did a tiger in your bathroom? The Hangover

fatalkiss 0

Kinda wanna thumb you down just for explaining what you're quoting. That just takes it away from your whole comment... It's way more awesome if people just read a quote & automatically know what's it from. Well, in my opinion at least, hah.

towboater198425 6

it is obvious your quoting the hangover, did you have to say so too! op must be a retard!

towboater198425 6

it's obvious your referring to the hangover, did you have to say so too? the op must be a retard!

RedPillSucks 31

Well, there are people who haven't watched "The Hangover". future FML, I guess...

MiGman 5

181 a Jeffery is pretty much a blunt made with mostly weed but practically moat other types of drugs. haha as explained it get him to the greek

AceArctic 4

Nobody is scared of a Jeffrey!

cwmbear 0

was it smooth or crunchy peanut butter?

That is the single most important question ever asked by anybody in the entire history of time and space.

JustOhSoLovely 6

how much was left in the jar?

Soulcatcherteej 6

I mean, let's be honest. the answer to that question can change all the options.

because that makes a whole lot of difference.

kellz9395 1

it says "Skippy" right there, dumbass.

Amanyyyyyy 29

It doesn't matter, the FML states the jar was empty.

fatalkiss 0

You probably just passed out & they did that shit to you to **** with you. That, or you got raped by Edward Cullen.

aeshleyrose 6

Fatalkiss, if I were a cop, I'd write you a ticket for being awesome. Well played.

Zombieslayer1 0

fatalkiss, I love you! it was the peanut butter that told you wasn't it?

iheartzombiesyo 0

you irritate meeeee(: ive seen you on almost every FML comments ive read. & i just started paying attention to comments today. you should ferreallllll feel all accomplished and such. :PPPP

zendaddy0 0

nah Edwards all ready f*cing some chick with bad acting

fatalkiss 0

Ha, no, I don't comment to feel some sort of pride of achievement, it's just something I do to pass time. I couldn't really sleep, so I read a lot of FML...a lot. Nothing cured my insomnia like the realization that it was time to get up for work x(

MegamiKaosu 28

Fatal I do the same thing, I lay in bed qwith my iPod and usually kill the battery before going to bed or needing to get up

MfailK 0

rape is nothing to joke about. just kidding

just remember it's not rape if you yell surprise!!!!!

chickunkey 0

the plot for the new hangover movie

i was about to write the exact same comment

Fat Jesus slip you some rapeies by any chance? I'm guessing Edward Cullen comes into the story at some point.

Taurusbaybe 8

Acid, that's what happened.

you remember what happened on acid... it's wonderful

acid gives you wings remember that children :)