By Devon - 20/05/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 314
You deserved it 22 915

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Top comments

It sounds like you've been partying with Ke$ha.

cwmbear 0

was it smooth or crunchy peanut butter?


It sounds like you've been partying with Ke$ha.

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1


hangover part III ? :P

chino627 0

14 he is a one man wolf pack

goddam it 14, stole the words from my mouth haha :)

ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0

it's not glitter in your hair...

cocaine's a hell of a drug

PurpleRae420 0

And you really wanna know? You couldve been fuckin a dude for all you know

well since all the witty jokes are gone I guess this Fml Is wiped clean

hobojo11 0

psh atleat you were not spooning a naked midget wile in a clow suit in a motel room with no car....

You, sir, have been raped by a vampire....

Takador 3

God dammit #1 stole my comment

Bite my nuts and call me Skippy! Skippy Squeeze!

TROLOLOL I was gonna say the same thing

number99 3

sounds like someone had some groundies

He should be happy he didn't wake up with butt plugs too.

laurbear12 3

14 you are gorgeous...and no I'm not a lesb :) just sayin

whippymcdumb4zs 0

that's what happens when u play with LSD

hahaha I was gonna say the same thing

I was gonna say with Brittany spears but same idea :P

zendaddy0 0

or you just took a hit of Charlie sheen

monkeebalz 0

sounds like the hangover 3...

funnyFMLSplz 0

don't steal my awesome picture Kiran i'll eat you D:

I was gonna say that too lol

Shytinonmyself 3

sounds like the plot of hangover 3

I know what happened ;)

gunner83 1

I have had nights like that.

sounds like my typical friday night

OP and Ke$ha danced with no pants on! HOLLER!

Those would be great lyrics

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Oohgaloof 0

The only explanation I can conjure is that your grandfather somehow drugged you unconscious, dress'd you up like a little glittery faerie princess, role playing that you somehow got caught stealing peanut butter and being naughty, so butt-f**king you as a punishment. Oh, and you tried to run but he caught up with you in the driveway. That's probably how it happened.

haha ^ just what i was thinking but i thought that was my life story O_O

gregmoran 0

I think your comment is awesome. don't listen to those silly pants.

uffiewuffie 0

You're not funny. The original comment was funnier.

just be glad you didn't did a tiger in your bathroom? The Hangover

fatalkiss 0

Kinda wanna thumb you down just for explaining what you're quoting. That just takes it away from your whole comment... It's way more awesome if people just read a quote & automatically know what's it from. Well, in my opinion at least, hah.

towboater198425 6

it is obvious your quoting the hangover, did you have to say so too! op must be a retard!

towboater198425 6

it's obvious your referring to the hangover, did you have to say so too? the op must be a retard!

RedPillSucks 31

Well, there are people who haven't watched "The Hangover". future FML, I guess...

At least there wasn't a hobo in your sink.

Well done. quoting another FML Goodstuff


or a tiger in your bathroom

orrrr *insert animal in room/object*

Or ke$ha in your tub

Drugs with funny names.

he had a jeffrey

agaba 0


MiGman 5

181 a Jeffery is pretty much a blunt made with mostly weed but practically moat other types of drugs. haha as explained it get him to the greek

AceArctic 4

Nobody is scared of a Jeffrey!

cwmbear 0

was it smooth or crunchy peanut butter?

That is the single most important question ever asked by anybody in the entire history of time and space.

It changes everything.

thats the real mystery here

JustOhSoLovely 6

how much was left in the jar?

Soulcatcherteej 6

I mean, let's be honest. the answer to that question can change all the options.

because that makes a whole lot of difference.

kellz9395 1

it says "Skippy" right there, dumbass.

Damn I love that extra crunch!

Doesn't mean it was crunchy or not

Amanyyyyyy 29

It doesn't matter, the FML states the jar was empty.

fatalkiss 0

You probably just passed out & they did that shit to you to fuck with you. That, or you got raped by Edward Cullen.

aeshleyrose 6

Fatalkiss, if I were a cop, I'd write you a ticket for being awesome. Well played.

Zombieslayer1 0

fatalkiss, I love you! it was the peanut butter that told you wasn't it?

Michele2luv 8

total win ^_^

iheartzombiesyo 0

you irritate meeeee(: ive seen you on almost every FML comments ive read. & i just started paying attention to comments today. you should ferreallllll feel all accomplished and such. :PPPP

zendaddy0 0

nah Edwards all ready f*cing some chick with bad acting

fatalkiss 0

Ha, no, I don't comment to feel some sort of pride of achievement, it's just something I do to pass time. I couldn't really sleep, so I read a lot of FML...a lot. Nothing cured my insomnia like the realization that it was time to get up for work x(

MegamiKaosu 28

Fatal I do the same thing, I lay in bed qwith my iPod and usually kill the battery before going to bed or needing to get up

MfailK 0

rape is nothing to joke about. just kidding

MfailK 0

it's awesome

Lindsaykae 0


just remember it's not rape if you yell surprise!!!!!

chickunkey 0

the plot for the new hangover movie

i was about to write the exact same comment

Clouded_Rhino 0

same. lmfao

Fat Jesus slip you some rapeies by any chance? I'm guessing Edward Cullen comes into the story at some point.

FMLucky 5

are you Ke$ha?

Taurusbaybe 8

Acid, that's what happened.

you remember what happened on acid... it's wonderful

acid gives you wings remember that children :)