Love: Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting...

By Anonymous - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27838

You deserved it

1726

Favorite

Love

And today, on Dr Phil…

Taking stock

Cooked it up

By anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27236

You deserved it

3438

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29076

You deserved it

2337

Favorite

By theyarefarapart

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33675

You deserved it

3549

Favorite

By im_a_mocker - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23230

You deserved it

5856

Favorite

By nubbins - Canada

Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28805

You deserved it

2662

Favorite

By Alup132

Today, while delivering pizza, a customer got mad at me and accused me of not having a GPS, then cussed me out and hung up. The address he gave me was a parking lot with 6 cars, none of which were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2689

You deserved it

144

Favorite

By chickenmcnuggetgirl - Ireland - Enfield

Different strokes

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50328

You deserved it

5110

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41184

You deserved it

16783

Favorite

By sammyducks227 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41489

You deserved it

3679

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4817

You deserved it

503

Favorite

By makeupsex - Canada

Toxic

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34101

You deserved it

5215

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Uxbridge

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8175

You deserved it

55159

Favorite

By Ruinedchristmas - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33475

You deserved it

13816

Favorite

By Are you kidding me? - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42949

You deserved it

4555

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/11/2020 14:02

OK, well, goodbye

Today I ordered an anchovy pizza without the mushroom. Instead, I got a mushroom pizza without the anchovy. Then, when I went to take it back, the store had closed. Permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1005

You deserved it

173

Favorite

By SlumLord - 27/11/2020 05:02

Frustrated you are

Today, when thinking about an Star Wars meme that said, "Quote Star Wars to describe your sex life", I realized that I had to stop at the title screen: "long ago" and "far, far away." FML

I agree, your life sucks

743

You deserved it

110

Favorite

By lil123 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34780

You deserved it

2706

Favorite

By Shone - Canada - Grand Forks

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31630

You deserved it

3826

Favorite

By ihateloopholes - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21920

You deserved it

8555

Favorite

By makayta - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a coworker asked me how I was because I looked down. I said, "You don't want to know." They replied, "You're right, I don't," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8751

You deserved it

3744

Favorite

By mrsekko - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41647

You deserved it

5259

Favorite

By Matt - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13313

You deserved it

57647

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

78362

You deserved it

3225

Favorite

By twinkie2 - United States

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24940

You deserved it

13815

Favorite

By superdriver - Mexico

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8173

You deserved it

50545

Favorite

By GonnaGetFired - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12578

You deserved it

40093

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Sackville

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48550

You deserved it

6841

Favorite

By Ahh - 14/8/2020 23:02

The curse

Today, as usual, my period cramps got go bad that I can't eat or drink without taking a pain killer, and end up puking and passing out if I take a pain killer before I eat. Here's to 30 smooth years yet to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1253

You deserved it

101

Favorite

By Anonymous - Germany - W?rzburg

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50961

You deserved it

3211

Favorite

By Username - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose that much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18979

You deserved it

28641

Favorite

By Blah

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3438

You deserved it

245

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Burlington

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53369

You deserved it

5586

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Hartford

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30847

You deserved it

21492

Favorite

By ihateseagulls - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28587

You deserved it

4097

Favorite

By disappointed dad - United States

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53736

You deserved it

4876

Favorite

By Pixel - Canada - Castlegar

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37209

You deserved it

5406

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 08:03 - Germany - Ebersbach

Preferential treatment

Today, my mom’s house has several comfortable places to rest in every room. For the cats and dogs, that is. Unfortunately for me, I'm a human. FML

I agree, your life sucks

601

You deserved it

Favorite

By yep, she does have a tumblr - United States - San Francisco

Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30403

You deserved it

2105

Favorite

By Thepunchline - United Kingdom

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37126

You deserved it

4201

Favorite

By alii2349 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48365

You deserved it

9988

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By justcommenting19 | 19

#6438178 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:34

Wait, we're not?

By thecodecat | 24

#6438177 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:33

That is unfortunate, but maybe you can have fun with it if there is no convincing them other wise.

COMMENTS

By Mr_Guy_Dude | 17

#6438173 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:33

How did you find that out?

friedpwnadge | 25

#6438211 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:55

Maybe it was the cries of "you bastard, you advocate the death of Jews, you sick blonde blue-eyed fiend!" that tipped OP off.

xxkrystalxx | 14

#6438715 - Sunday 18 October 2015 23:48

Lol I'm curious too. Like did the coworker just tell her or tell someone else

By thecodecat | 24

#6438177 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:33

That is unfortunate, but maybe you can have fun with it if there is no convincing them other wise.

thawny_fml | 21

#6438353 - Sunday 18 October 2015 12:16

"I've told you I'm not a nazi at least nein times now, if you don't believe me I'll have to report you to the fuehrer"

tantanpanda | 26

#6438692 - Sunday 18 October 2015 22:44

Whenever OP sees her in private, he could raise his hands and salute.

Lalala579121 | 27

#6438698 - Sunday 18 October 2015 23:04

Plot twist, the coworker is the actual Nazi.

I did Nazi that coming.

By justcommenting19 | 19

#6438178 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:34

Wait, we're not?

BeautifulChaos27 | 37

#6438327 - Sunday 18 October 2015 10:52

Shhh! Don't tell them about our secret club!

Autistic_Slut | 9

#6556676 - Friday 11 March 2016 4:57

we must keep the organization a secret

By Googolman | 29

#6438186 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:36

I'm wondering how you found that out.

By sylvienoir | 18

#6438187 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:36

Shit, she's onto us.

By 1bj1234 | 12

#6438193 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:40

I bet you did Nazi that coming.

LilMissCanadian | 22

#6438592 - Sunday 18 October 2015 19:40

You forgot "I bet Jew"

By RealSuperSand | 21

#6438203 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:48

Wow. The level of stupidity is over 9000.

higgysaurus | 18

#6438251 - Sunday 18 October 2015 7:29

Why did you pick 9000 out of all the numbers you could have picked? I mean even 10k sorta makes sense

brenton490 | 19

#6438278 - Sunday 18 October 2015 7:55

Because nein thousand sounds better!

spacefish966 | 18

#6438322 - Sunday 18 October 2015 10:07

^^^^win

zombiekiller52 | 24

#6438347 - Sunday 18 October 2015 12:03

What 9000 that's impossible?!!?

Talonshere | 14

#6438349 - Sunday 18 October 2015 12:08

@18 It's a meme. That's why he chose 9000.

9a_1z | 12

#6438514 - Sunday 18 October 2015 17:26

A very old meme, it's shameful, he should hand in his license to meme. All your meme licences are belong to us.

Enkeria | 30

#6438572 - Sunday 18 October 2015 19:01

Apparently #18 has never watched DragonBall Z.

Lalala579121 | 27

#6438700 - Sunday 18 October 2015 23:05

I'd almost say the stupidity is over 6 million.

higgysaurus | 18

#6439413 - Monday 19 October 2015 21:04

#36 shit, my bad

By Cads1 | 24

#6438205 - Sunday 18 October 2015 6:48

That's the price you pay for being the supreme race..... Apparently.

By Tamandua | 19

#6438224 - Sunday 18 October 2015 7:06

Tell her you're Jewish.

higgysaurus | 18

#6438255 - Sunday 18 October 2015 7:34

Why not just tell her "I am not a Nazi"? No sense in lying when telling the truth would be more effective

By EvilLittleMan | 23

#6438227 - Sunday 18 October 2015 7:08

Wear a KISS shirt...