Kids: Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique...

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 12:25 - United States

Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year-old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 825

You deserved it 3 322

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 22:09 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 202

You deserved it 3 385

By concom - 27/05/2015 19:40 - Cyprus

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 666

You deserved it 2 094

By fmal - 07/05/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 273

You deserved it 8 883

By Oh no - 13/10/2018 03:00

Today, I went searching for my old school laptop only to find that my stepdad had swiped it and given it to his mother. My sex tapes and nudes are on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 1 992

By oink oink fuck off - 29/07/2012 18:49 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 952

You deserved it 3 714

Grifter

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 693

You deserved it 671

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 502

You deserved it 4 665

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 00:01 - United States

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 2 588

By anon - 20/11/2015 00:53 - New Zealand

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 640

You deserved it 2 224

floatguy 2

Friday 28 October 2011 15:49

That a boy!!!! Lol

theonlybassist 8

Friday 28 October 2011 15:49

that kid's a genius haha!

Comments

TimysterGates 15

Monday 31 October 2011 21:52

Mirror, mirror in my hand, helps me see things I normally can't (:

JakeTha_A01 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:06

Wow, he should listen to the song "Creep" by the Lonely Island hahaha

infectedphone292 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 5:50

smart kid...

nommocesnes 3

Friday 4 November 2011 3:40

That's disgusting. Maybe someone should teach him about personal space...

Choonie 1

Monday 2 January 2012 12:07

He's starting at a young age nice.

iiEnjoyTurtles 0

Monday 2 April 2012 19:13

Winning!

ConradKay 13

Sunday 20 May 2012 5:31

I know this is totally inappropriate, but... your son is a badass.

bernardbrown 7

Wednesday 12 December 2012 12:32

Your kid is going to be a fine voyeur when he grows up.

tewa21 12

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:07

Like a sir.

Waspinator1998 21

Thursday 1 August 2013 8:52

Looks like we've got a player on our hands.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 167

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 956

You deserved it 7 297

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 3 905

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 969

You deserved it 2 655

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 4 477

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 816

You deserved it 53 133

Today, I found a picture of my ex with a new boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't break up with me because she was lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 448

You deserved it 1 865

Same thing different taste

Grifter

Market crash

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