Intimacy: Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 060

You deserved it 86 700

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Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 26 455

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 680

You deserved it 47 014

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 600

You deserved it 88 940

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 093

You deserved it 3 948

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 758

You deserved it 73 886

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 501

You deserved it 13 096

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 184

You deserved it 20 244

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 133

You deserved it 7 993

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 294

You deserved it 5 011

By Sully - 07/02/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 703

You deserved it 23 164

woofer_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:25

You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.

Comments

prashn64 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:55

This exact FML was posted a while ago from the girl's point of view. I'm guessing this is copypasta.

lpaul49 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:22

#98: WTF is copypasta. Sounds like a really disgusting Italian dish.

theatregrl2 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:42

I agree with #90 and 94, those of you who are saying that he should've just had sex with her when she was unconscious are horrible people, especially if you really mean it. Even if it's a joke it's not a funny joke. How would you like it if it was your sister or daughter or best friend who was knocked unconscious and then '******' anyway? If anyone deserves to not get laid it's you guys. OP: Real life isn't anything like the movies, hasn't anyone ever told you that?

SgtSchadenfreude 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:44

"Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex." LOL!!! I'm sorry, but even the first line had me cracking up. Girlfriend: :::Gasp!:::: "You like having sex? You dirty liar!"

letstrythis 0

Monday 30 March 2009 11:23

God, that's a horribly unclear sentence. You don't deserve to get laid. Oh, and good job knocking her out...

cclark589 0

Monday 30 March 2009 11:44

Sheesh people! I'm sure that this is the most grammatically offensive sentence you could find on FML, and I want to thank you for attacking the writing so vigorously. I mean, I find that every other sentence in every other entry is grammatically pristine. :::rolls eyes::: Sure, there may be some ambiguity to this sentence, but I'm sure you got the meaning and just wanted to nitpick like assholes. So back off the poor guy--he already got blue-balled! But that situation sucks. If I were the girl, I'd be pissed!