Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 084

You deserved it 13 982

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

Spotted

By Taylor D - 07/08/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 4 516

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 282

You deserved it 4 578

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 218

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 294

You deserved it 12 382

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 06:45 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 1 816

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 872

You deserved it 4 425

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 482

You deserved it 5 354

By anonymous - 11/04/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 531

You deserved it 86 238

pb_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

This is gross, but pretty amusing.

Comments

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

This is gross, but pretty amusing.

quent10 0

Monday 5 July 2010 20:03

you shoulda said... no ur mom asked me to buy it

pohkerfayce 0

Monday 30 August 2010 4:14

maybe you should go with him.

ninjacapo 2

Tuesday 3 January 2012 3:39

Haha 97 he shoulda said "nah ur moms ass is so tight we need all the lube we can get

Effekt 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

HAHAHAHAH

pb_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.

nosedive1994 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 1:46

true lol

nickliu1211 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 16:13

haha

Erik_Holmgren 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:11

lol

rydin10 18

Sunday 23 February 2014 7:14

He's an old man...

happinessNmisery 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

people take things way too seriously, i'm sure he was just kidding.

newmxr 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 1:28

agreed

im_emile 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:31

I'm sure OP knows that, but the fact that he was right is the FML part, I'm guessing.

zbots 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:28

If you really have to lube yourself, I'm not sure an oil based one is the right way to go...

xMooMoox 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:30

Vaseline is pretty messy. I'm not a guy but I think I would prefer something else!

tpm45 25

Thursday 28 November 2013 21:20

I can assure you it's perfectly fine. Especially when you don't want to go buying "proper" stuff in public.

rebockaa 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:30

hahahaaa. that sucks dude!

chelseybuns 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:32

Wow. Was that in public. if other people heard!!! OUCH!!!!!! Well at least you'll always have your vaseline!!

Synthetic42 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:35

eesh not exactly the way you hoped it would go

rinaldy 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:35

haha #2 thats really funny

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 269

You deserved it 14 171

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, at work, a customer pulled down her pants and lifted her sweater to reveal a hole in her chest full of greenish, stinky goo. I don't work in anything health-related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 128

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 475

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 5 368

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 675

You deserved it 11 077

Today, someone called wanting to talk to my son. My 6-week-old baby is receiving more phone calls than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 708

You deserved it 471

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 279

You deserved it 3 054

Same thing different taste

Spotted

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