Intimacy: Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer,... - FML

By RDMdragoon - 13/07/2009 11:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 971

You deserved it 4 513

Dementia or hate? You decide

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Zone 6

By thatsnice - 09/12/2014 21:19 - United States - Warwick

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 026

You deserved it 4 256

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 998

You deserved it 6 915

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 16:21 - United States - Dayton

Today, I'm seven months pregnant and going to college. I had to use the bathroom, but all of the bathrooms at my building were closed, so I had to walk to the next building, a block away. I didn't make it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 773

You deserved it 2 034

By SweetStuff88 - 15/11/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 456

You deserved it 9 607

By bubbashrek - 28/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 577

You deserved it 2 974

By Bernadette - 28/06/2012 19:58

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 137

You deserved it 30 537

Frugality

By Gingertabs - 23/08/2021 22:00

Today, I found out I am only entitled to £63 government assistance a month. I haven't worked or even left house for a year and a half, as my agoraphobia/anxiety has spiraled out of control. I don't know how I'm going to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 280

By wabbyfish - 14/03/2014 03:36 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 431

You deserved it 8 143

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 288

You deserved it 2 901

By Guess I'm not getting laid - 03/08/2018 14:30 - United States - Glasgow

Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 16:52 - United States

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 326

You deserved it 2 739

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 482

You deserved it 10 407

By insomniac - 03/09/2010 23:02

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 399

You deserved it 3 457

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 245

You deserved it 4 494

Denied

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 00:01 - United States - Austin

Today, an Air Force recruiter called me. I've been wanting to join the Air Force for 5 years now. After chatting on the phone with him for 10 minutes, I mentioned to him that I had asthma. He quickly told me I can't join any of the military branches, and to have a good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 430

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 807

You deserved it 4 820

The struggle is real

By Sally - 26/12/2011 11:48 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 5 814

By AtLeastIGetOvertime - 02/08/2019 14:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I asked my supervisor if I could take a week off next month to go visit family. He laughed and said, "That's funny, I've put you down for extra time that week, so you can cover my shifts while I go to Spain!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 31/10/2011 10:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 912

You deserved it 4 382

By anonymous - 03/02/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I spent nearly an hour thawing out my car and driving to work in this stupid freezing rain, only to find out that I'm now unemployed due to budget cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 903

You deserved it 2 311

Drip drip drip

By ewww - 03/04/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, I used the community vacuum to clean my dorm. When spots started appearing on the floor, I assumed it was leaking water. By the time I finished there were tons of wet spots on the floor. Later I found out that someone had just used that very vacuum to suck up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 126

You deserved it 5 207

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 680

You deserved it 5 437

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 09:15 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how gays are destroying the "sanctity of marriage". I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 506

You deserved it 2 309

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 09:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 901

You deserved it 9 567

Hangry

By nd.11 - 01/03/2010 16:59 - Canada

Today, I was on a city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling on it. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say, "Stop chewing on that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 625

You deserved it 2 798

By doubledown - 04/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks plus theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 111

You deserved it 3 431

By Coldsnap - 12/08/2011 17:25 - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 741

You deserved it 5 000

By Numb - 11/04/2011 19:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 363

You deserved it 7 015

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 16:36 - United States - Anchorage

Spicy

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 205

You deserved it 6 515

By Violated - 09/12/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 771

You deserved it 19 128

By observant - 15/05/2012 14:24 - United States

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 872

You deserved it 2 395

By dodgerkiss - 10/06/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 140

You deserved it 3 634

Unprofessional

By dr immature - 23/12/2013 23:11 - United States - Washington

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 373

You deserved it 48 564

By solitaire - 20/07/2013 08:14 - United States - Enumclaw

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 107

You deserved it 8 205

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 924

You deserved it 7 879

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 525

You deserved it 68 926

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 149

You deserved it 3 190

By Dave - 19/12/2018 18:00

Today, I said to a girl that I recently started dating, ‘I like you so far’. My phone had other plans and decide to autocorrect far to fat as I hit send. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 021

You deserved it 682

Batman

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 23:00

Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 92

Cheers

By toastynippies - 24/02/2015 19:32 - United States

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 151

You deserved it 3 204

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

NonchalantSavant 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:32

You dodged a bullet. Be thankful she's an ex-fiance and not an ex-wife.

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:31

that sucks

Comments

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:31

that sucks

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 21:48

...Since when did FML change the 'sex' category to 'intimacy'?lol

spoo 24

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 23:23

DONT DELETE ANYTHING ELSE ON THE ACCOUNT, CHECK THE INTERNET FOR SAVED PASSWORDS. with Firefox tools-options-security- saved passwords I dont know how to find this with IE. Burn her cheating hide

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 23:34

dude you should do something similar to this guy http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1735104 absolutly genius ;D

Send a private message

Tuesday 14 July 2009 22:14

#46 thumbed down for trying to trick other people into referring you.

NonchalantSavant 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:32

You dodged a bullet. Be thankful she's an ex-fiance and not an ex-wife.

Send a private message

Tuesday 14 July 2009 11:28

I agree.

Sandstorm_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:37

Fake. I just moderated one exactly the same but with information that wouldn't have been forgotten. The other one read something like, "Today, while deleting my ex-fiance's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. It was dated the night before i proposed. FML I think someone just made this up, then figured out something more FML, so they added it and resubmitted it.

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 18:17

How can you moderate them? =0 Or are you a moderator?

IreadFMLnaked 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 18:21

Click "moderate" on the upper right of the screen.

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:40

Even if it is fake, it's still hilarious

lendmeyourteeth 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:42

oh at least she's your ex & it's not your bedroom anymore lol

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:43

maybe they looked at it again and found out that info, probably not fake

IreadFMLnaked 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:53

XI player by any chance?

Send a private message

Thursday 16 July 2009 5:29

Ha, I was going to ask just that.

ferrarifan777 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:54

why does the OP never comment on their own FMLs?

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:56

i have actually seen the op comment on their own fml once, it has like a special symbol showing its the op.. but i dont know why its not more common, it seems like they would be interested in people's comments

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 18:02

i agreee. the world's not going to end because there's a fake FML.

ferrarifan777 0

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 18:45

yea especially when people give them advice...they can at least say thanks

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:56

who cares if its fake? most of these probably are. we'll never know the truth. its hilarious and it doesnt matter. get off your high horse, stop being such a douche, and just enjoy life. This website is to make yall laugh. nothing more, nothing less.

Send a private message

Monday 13 July 2009 17:58

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaake.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 5

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 130

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 110