Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
kaykay20 0
Guess you will be making the appointment yourself and taking a taxi?
Voldy_fml 16
Ice? Wow..Maybe ask your mom? Or a close FEMALE relative?
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Comments (138)
SigmaSky 5
Why does everyone keep telling her to talk to her mom? Did the idea ever cross anyone's mind that she doesn't have one? Maybe she lives with a single father. It sounds like a UTI, OP. Drinking cranberry juice usually flushes it right out.
Akharr01 5
Love OP's name thingy :)
BlesstheSilence 11
Just the idea of shoving ice up there is hilariously stupid...
moop256 10
Hey a cold pussy can be refreshing in the morning
adiatomic 0
That would make it hurt even more don't you think???
kwazywabbit 9
Ah yes, i had this not too long ago, if you don't go to see the doctor RIGHT NOW it will get worse and much more painful, nearly killed me, it's a urine infection!
MrLoux 6
Replace his hemmoroid cream with super glue. Have some ice on stand by, just in case he realizes.
SlightlyUnstable 6
Of course it will! Dad always knows best!
PedoPancakes 7
Ahhh. The loving words of a father
DKjazz 20
Fill a small, preferably unused condom with water, tie it off and stick it in the freezer. Optionally, fill it with your favorite fruit juice instead, and make a delicious cocksickle. I've heard cranberry juice is especially effective.