Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kaykay20 0
Guess you will be making the appointment yourself and taking a taxi?
Voldy_fml 16
Ice? Wow..Maybe ask your mom? Or a close FEMALE relative?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
Jenna152 5
Dad's will never understand, get your friend to drive you and say "Hoe did that get on the health bill?" Always works when you talk about vaginal stuff.
leahloo 4
you might have a bladder infection... drink lots of water and some cranberry juice. make an appointment yourself and get to a doctor. men are stupid and ice won't fix it.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Wtf?
BostonBruinsFan 8
I wonder what sex would be like?
eatsleepjb 8
Assuming op has a mom, ask her. And if not, ask your aunt or a female that you trust because these kinds of things can be dangerous.
jacob4592 0
Seriously lmao
mellowmo0d88 8
Oh, dads... They always mean well.
Trollin56 0
Why would you tell your dad about that? Thats more of a thing you would tell a FEMALE friend. You should punch him in the nose and when he starts to complain about the pain tell him to shove some ice up his nose!!!!! That must really hurt though. I had a problem like that a little while ago. Hope you get better soon!!!???
beardedbastard 5
spoken like a bitch on the rag... 2 years late.. but its still a zinger!
SailorSolaris 43
Ironically enough, I cured Trechomaniasis with nothing but Activia yogurt and Vagisil cream. I know you've probably recovered by now, but it's food for thought.
LoZelda123 20
I am so sorry O~O I hope you were able to go to a doctor