Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
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Top comments
amburrjade 28
It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.
iipinkette 16
He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.
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Comments (75)
ssnow_fml 20
hey, at least he didn't walk out of the house in a panic and never return.
ssnow_fml 20
The pregnancy hormones begin....
I_Like_Dogs 28
He's ready.
SChernobyl 6
He sounds amazing!
BeenIt 5
Wow! He's got about 9 months to grow up.
GrumpyGrinch 23
But thats beautiful, isn't it?
moodyreallyrocks 27
Congratulations OP! You must be really excited!!
abbey1822 12
He's ready the fatherhood
Le_ponderer 14
That sounds like a dad joke. I bet he said it in humour not to piss you off. Lighten up OP, the baby weight gain is all the extra you need. Congratulations on your bundle of joy!
max_dilbe 14
Haha marry him! Oh, wait... :P PS: He officially kicked off the many more years of DAD jokes to come.. Good luck!