Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
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Top comments
amburrjade 28
It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.
iipinkette 16
He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.
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Comments (75)
HollyQuinn 21
Amazing.
blake1015 24
That's how it goes, man... It's just nature. As soon as a man finds out that he's a father, instinct kicks in and the dad jokes begin.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
How is this an FML exactly?
kaotic_angel88 24
Congrats!! Sounds like he's really happy to become a father.
Atrius82 16
*Standing slow clap*
xTommytheGUNx 15
continues the slow clap*
DoomSkuller 28
*joins in clapping*
LadyTyger51ne 8
I think that was sweet ?
unhappycamperuk 12
I voted 'your life sucks' because if you can't appreciate the absolute golden height of this perfectly applied dad joke then it truly does and I pity you.
Chilled_Rambo 11
He's been waiting his whole life for that moment, and congrats OP!
interesting33 37
He is prepared. He will go far.
HawksFan44 5
It has begun