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Why didn't you use Alohomora?

"I guess that explains why I can understand you; I must be a parseltongue!"

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Why didn't you use Alohomora?

because he's not a wizard. obviously.

#23, no one asked your opinion, you filthy little muggle!

Did you at least get paid for your shift?

"I guess that explains why I can understand you; I must be a parseltongue!"

*Parselmouth, dude. I'm disappointed in you. Wait…

I just see a bunch of "sssssssss" and "hhhhhhhhhh." Can anyone read what he wrote?

Unfortunately, Google translate is still in its development stage for parseltongue. . and even then who knows how accurate that'll be. //sighs

Mudbloods… mudbloods all over my replies…

I would take being called Harry Potter as a compliment.

In my personal opinion, that's for the best reason I've ever heard. But that's just me speaking as a big Harry Potter fan and naming myself after a Harry Potter character when having gotten my naturalized citizenship just so I would have a reason to be called after a Harry Potter character.

Did you wave your wand a little while you were in there?

Graham Montague would be a better nickname for this situation

Well it would, Montague got shoved into a broken vanishing cabinet by the twins. Was stuck for a day, until he apparated out.

Yeah but he apparated into a toilet and got stuck hahahaha

I'd sacrifice being in a cupboard a little while if I could forever be called Harry Potter

Sounds more like Indian in the cupboard...Did you shrink in size and fight plastic army men