Health: Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus....

By pigeons_suck - 11/05/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 416

You deserved it 2 802

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 134

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 825

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 015

You deserved it 206

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 61 960

By Lindsey Taul - 22/12/2017 22:00 - United States - Granite City

Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 213

You deserved it 290

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 2 843

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 257

Seagull on wheels

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 17:01

Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 149

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

dreamering 16

Thursday 12 May 2011 9:07

Take the positive side: You could have been hit by a cow.

PSQ91 6

Thursday 12 May 2011 9:00

FYL. Pigeons suck, they're so useless.

Comments

shamille 5

Thursday 12 May 2011 14:55

FTPL But seriously, ruptured sinuses? Phwoar. I didn't even know you could rupture them. Sounds awful.

seekndestroy 3

Thursday 12 May 2011 15:29

ruptured anything sounds pretty awful

Gyles03 1

Thursday 12 May 2011 15:26

I totally read that as "ruptured anus" and I was thinking to myself, How hard would one have to be hit in the face in order to rupture their anus?

j_cat187 19

Thursday 12 May 2011 15:37

haha bird that flies up the anus of unsuspecting people

j_cat187 19

Thursday 12 May 2011 15:36

u must got the nasel funk

meggs2209 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 16:37

that's the kind of shit u can't even make up. fyl

deekiin 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 18:49

hide yo kids, hide yo wives and hide yo husbands too cos they pigeoning everyone out here

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:13

You should have got the bird flew vaccine. I got the needle last year, and a bird hasn't flown into me yet.

m00sh 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:32

HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?! JESUS CHRIST

qr_fml 21

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:31

lmfao fyl loll

Schlimpikins 0

Friday 13 May 2011 0:06

windscreen?

LuciDaniels 8

Friday 13 May 2011 0:06

hahahah. I'm sorry but i could not stop laughing for five full minutes after reading that! but FYL!!

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The Top

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 78

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 564

You deserved it 5 995

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 3 872

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 375

You deserved it 2 219

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 462

You deserved it 2 253

Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 186

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 421

You deserved it 3 722