Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, within a year of inheriting the family business from me so I could retire, my daughter claimed she had found a way to increase profits that was "way too complicated" for me to understand. Well today, police showed up. Whatever her method was, apparently it counts as fraud. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML
Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML
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Top comments
warriorsoul 2
IDK how to break it to you easy... I think your daughter is becoming a ****.
spyrogyro 2
easy remedy fire the douche!!
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Comments (204)
Oreogasm 5
Maybe they're in love. Can't break up a good thing thats happening. Or maybe your daughter is a **** and likes to f*** with anything with 2 legs and a heartbeat.
bridgette5866 0
Two awesome points of view.
CyclonePsycho 1
Or maybe without a heartbeat. Hey, she just might be into that kind of thing. OP, you should consider buying a shotgun. Shotguns solve all your problems.
perdix 31
Actually, you paid him to literally screw around with your daughter. Put cameras in the back room and you can have a whole new business pop up while your store is eating it.
Darkhumor 0
Took the words from my mouth! or you could tell them you'll install a camera and fire them both, firing them is cheaper than actually getting a camera Yes I know firing your own daughter sounds cruel, but I'm not a big fan of mixing family with business...and if she really is that easy, maybe there are daddy issues to be addressed...O_o
angrynegro7 16
I'm sorry OP, but this made me LMAO! :D Please tell me you fired the little ****** after breaking your foot off in his ass!
quinz 4
OP was probably not at the store at all of the times that his daughter was, so he wasn't there to notice.
Darraghscoot 0
you have a big chin and your comments annoy me...........just sayin
nates0210 0
I agree with 43
Olympian94 0
Agreed with #46 XD
undrtheblnkt 0
haha...ydi 4 leaving them alone. be lucky u caught this early on, u could have found this out 9 months later when she delivered. you'll should leave snick alone, at least she has a pic.
LTMcleod 0
I hate ugly little girls who act like they have a say so in conversations. 15, shut your face, no one appreciates ugly girls.
majones 0
Snickerdoodles, it's spelled cum not come. When it COMES to sexual grammar, you are no longer a Nazi. You sexually fail.
allard 14
67 win
zippit09 0
Snickerdoodles wins! Suck it up majones.
majones 0
I might suck it up, but snickerdoodles can swallow it up.
boopityboppity 11
I don't get it. Why do people default to insulting snickerdoodles whenever she says anything? Do you think your generic insults will affect her? Read her description.
Jessi_Rose96 0
I don't get why you guys pick o Snick. You're a whole lot more annoying with you're little immature comments about her looks. That just shows how shallow and discontented with yourself you are. If you are so good looking that you can bag on other people that you don't know, I suggest you get a picture for yourself.
Malinkrot 3
We should feel bad for snickerdoodles, she desperately tries to seem intelligent on the internet; probably because she is below average in real life. Someone else put it perfectly in another comment: It's easy to appear smart on the internet where search engines and dictionaries are a click away.
thecolinkid 0
well for me I think I do ydi way to much. but this time I really mean it lol shouldn't have hired him. if. I was to hire him I would have lots of judgement.
honestlove11 0
I don't get how snickerdoodles is ugly at all so the rest of you can suck it. :)
Domonator 16
Snick is. Deal with it. She exists, not to say what you wish she would say, but to meet her own standards.
Heartbreakher 0
I agree with 102/123. She's not ugly so stfu:)
LTMcleod 0
ya, and your no heartbreaker fag
MadaZer0 8
Who is snickerdoodles?
Heartbreakher 0
it's heartbreakher and grow up using "fag" as an insult is really stupid.
myownenemy 0
snick is actually pretty, not ugly at all. why do people always bitch about her? she's actually one of the cooler people on fmylife.
jayjaysmokerson 0
lol
dudeitsdanny 10
Snickerdoodles- You missed a comma before "seriously." =) You're welcome
captainbj2 0
congratulations Snickerdoodles! you have a lot of people fighting over you, and trying to insult you...and they don't even know you! sorry you have to deal with all the shallow people who are ugly both inside and out.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
I say this is a win for your daughter. She gets an escort, but she doesn't have to pay for it. Just think of it this way: if she gets salary, you're paying HER to screw around, too :]
MadaZer0 8
Can I screw with you? I'll promise I'll be gentle XD Lol... "Please be gentle" LMAO I love that line in hentai XD
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Doesn't matter if it's gentle or not. If you have your way I'll be dead, anyways ^_^
MadaZer0 8
Oh... Hey!!! I'm as gentle as a shark!!!
MyStarrz 0
Also, that would make ur daughter a hoe (literally... not just being a dick) ... Prostitution is illegal and kinda funny thou i never heard of BOTH parties being paid to **** the other its ironic in a way
mitsoi 0
lol
0darkfire0 0
both people are usually paid to **** in pr0n.
heyslut 0
hahaha suckksssss!!!! :D
mehgmehg 0
haha
yoogurtisgood 0
ooooooooh!!! once again tis isn't a fyl its a **** your daughters life :) literally
Quest_ 13
OMG UR DAUGHTER IS A SLUTT!!!!11 but nice going 4 the kid lol
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Double standard
Pearljammer001 0
@18 why would he f*** hiself when he has a perfectly good bosses daughter to f*** instead?