Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, within a year of inheriting the family business from me so I could retire, my daughter claimed she had found a way to increase profits that was "way too complicated" for me to understand. Well today, police showed up. Whatever her method was, apparently it counts as fraud. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML
Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML
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Top comments
warriorsoul 2
IDK how to break it to you easy... I think your daughter is becoming a ****.
spyrogyro 2
easy remedy fire the douche!!
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Comments (204)
Comatose27 0
haha nice. sucks for you though. too bad your daughter is easy. haha
Brittface 6
Hey it's not your fault she's growing up to be a ****.
namezox 0
your fault
DonkeyDelight 0
I imagine you smell of something funky, I just can't put my finger on it.
MadaZer0 8
So namesox.... If I put my penis in your mouth will it be my fault then?
majones 0
@139 That would also be snickerdoodle's fault.
ananda123 0
wht don't u **** yourself for keeping him knowing he s ******* ur little one. FY life
Hairy_Walrus 0
This gives me the motivation to look for a job.
mshafty 0
It's an easy fix. Just send him a bill for the time he has spent with your daughter. make sure its more than he's earned while working for you. If he doesn't pay up just say "my bitches don't work free" and then break his knee caps with a baseball bat. He'll pay up quick and you should probably slap your daughter around a little to. You have to establish who the pimp daddy or you will never get your respect! Then of course start offering your slutty daughters services around town, she will be your bottom bitch. once word spreads, bring her whorish friends in or maybe your wife if you have to keep it in the family and set up shop. You should have a nice little operation going in no time at all and save that small family owned business! You know what i'm sayin!
BenLarge1 0
: O You. Are. GOD!!!
scarletlily_fml 3
Boo ******* hoo.
Ayselen 0
Great manager and father skills you have there.
bubblybrooke 12
who says the daughters a ****? maybe she loves the guy.
rapunzel01 1
riiiight. in today's teenage society sex has very little to do with "love"
zippit09 0
Way to stereotype everyone aged 13-19 in the world. Get out and meet some teens, they don't all conform to your out-of-touch middle-aged beliefs. Some do, sadly.
Wolfman_Paladin 0
im 18 and i will say very few teens have love in mind they just want to ****
rapunzel01 1
i'm 18 so don't assume. (ya know the whole to assume makes an ass out of you and me saying). and out of touch middle aged beliefs? hardly. just realistic. every sexually active teen i know does it for pleasure or to "conform" to what they believe is normal. i've even heard "well i'm almost 18..." as a reason for giving it up. If you were a literate person you would also have realized that I said "little" to do with love, not absolutely nothing.
rapunzel01 1
thank you for the support! somebody realistic
Thisbe_fml 0
Who the **** cares what the teenager's motivations are? As long as the sex is safe, consensual, and with an age-appropriate partner, then it is perfectly acceptable. If the teenager regrets it later, it is probably because of judgmental people like you that try to pretend that sex is such a dire choice.
sjd017 0
are you hiring?
CallMeHush 1
The most importaint question finally asked! I hear they have one hell of a bennie package.
Fminetoo 0
You Both ^ are ******* WINS
tisiphone_fml 0
And it's all the boyfriend's fault, why?