Miscellaneous: Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne.... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:27 - United States

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 2 723

Stop talking!

Hiding from the drama

Grammar police alert

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 21:00 - Canada - Jansen

Today, I was talking to a girl online and she stopped talking to me abruptly after seeing my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 231

You deserved it 761

OK, now that's gross

By CM112 - 27/10/2019 06:00 - South Africa

Today, I found a piece of a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I haven't eaten popcorn in over a week and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 1 187

Retail stinks

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 23:00

Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 86

By single - 10/11/2010 02:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 324

You deserved it 7 595

By ollie179 - 15/08/2011 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 340

You deserved it 39 340

By coco - 18/06/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 874

You deserved it 5 922

By horniness - 10/10/2009 16:30 - Hong Kong

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 018

You deserved it 74 764

High hopes

By abjoro - 25/05/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the cute guy who sits in front of me in class and who keeps looking at me over his right shoulder is not interested in me as I had been led to believe. He has mild Tourrette's and his tick happens to be scratching his chin over his right shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 065

You deserved it 431

By Anonymous - 18/03/2015 07:06 - United States

Today, my dad spent 30 minutes incorrectly correcting me about our legal system. He thinks he knows more than me because he's been divorced twice. I'm a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 058

You deserved it 2 423

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 02:35 - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 528

You deserved it 1 785

By GetAnotherRoomAlready - 12/03/2016 05:58 - United States - Singapore

Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 799

You deserved it 1 683

By Anonymous - 23/09/2011 22:24 - Germany

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 678

You deserved it 4 955

Cash dispenser

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 20:08

Today, my daughter is engaged to her soon-to-be fifth husband. She's 32 and refuses to believe she's the problem in relationships, and she wants me to pay for this wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 910

You deserved it 4 467

Doofus

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 13:58 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the father of my son cheated on me, but with fake sex bots that pretend to be real people. I don’t know whether I’m more disappointed in him cheating, or the fact that he couldn’t even get it right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 2 838

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 08:02 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 154

You deserved it 3 871

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 977

You deserved it 2 654

By Anonymous - 04/04/2018 01:30

Today, while visiting my son at university, I noticed a funky smell in his room. He admitted to not changing his bedsheets since he moved in 2.5 years ago. I’ve raised an animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 342

You deserved it 673

By stankness - 22/03/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 276

You deserved it 2 776

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:26 - United States - Goodyear

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 714

You deserved it 23 696

By 1234 - 22/06/2015 11:26 - United States - Lutz

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 330

You deserved it 2 749

By oops - 19/04/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 142

You deserved it 4 504

By iTried - 28/01/2016 12:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 488

You deserved it 8 752

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 600

You deserved it 3 253

By fatlady - 07/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 962

You deserved it 39 244

By Anonymous - 23/02/2010 15:45 - United States

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 686

You deserved it 2 876

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 90

Cropped Out

By steph - 15/07/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, my cousins cropped me out of a picture of all 6 of us at a wedding, then captioned it, "We have such a good-looking family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 828

You deserved it 257

By Hm - 08/02/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 417

You deserved it 3 985

By allyshah - 20/02/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 554

You deserved it 6 350

Biker

By scottskidee - 12/04/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 490

You deserved it 24 994

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 870

You deserved it 40 060

Great job, dude

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 23:01 - Australia

Today, after my boyfriend of three years and I had our first child together last year and he was so hands on, now when I ask him to help with the baby he tells me I’m the primary carer, and that he’s not ready to be a dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 155

By greatdriver...4 - 31/08/2011 11:07 - United States

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 840

You deserved it 26 660

By jessicab72 - 15/05/2014 20:38 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 107

You deserved it 5 573

By Wowfmylife - 19/08/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 155

You deserved it 4 209

By Jilly - 08/08/2011 06:45 - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 026

You deserved it 5 281

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 16:33 - United States

Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 391

You deserved it 7 056

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:14

your friends seem to be broken, better go buy some new ones

yma24 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:11

some friends you have!!!

Comments

yma24 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:11

some friends you have!!!

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:16

Actually, his friends seem amazing!

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:17

fix yo face son!

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:18

actually they are called Na'vi, not avatars. dumbasses

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:25

LOL, this was so funny XD !

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:05

They will eat your eyes for jujubes. /speech impediment

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:20

op is a girl

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:37

dude acne fucking sucks. but theres some really good stuff u can get to fix that shit

MetroidSlayer01 8

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:41

How is acne an FML? How are your friends being awsome an FML? You fail at life.

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 5:15

lol that's kinda funny

ShokuMasterLord 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 5:19

They might have been referring to Avatar: TLA.

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 7:00

Tell those Avatards to buy u some Proactiv

tweetbaby14 18

Sunday 21 February 2010 1:47

just letting you guys know my cousin she tried proactive and it made her face really dry and her face had red blotches or whatever and I felt really bad for her because she had to choose acne or red patches a few months before her wedding. and OP your friends are jerks

tweetbaby14 18

Sunday 21 February 2010 1:49

oh yea moral of the story proactive isn't for everyone

TeenieAmerica 9

Send a private message

Monday 27 September 2010 17:19

Uh yeah, but acne definitely doesn't look like an arrow.

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:12

:[ proactive!

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:00

LOLZ

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:13

aww sucks for u

samantha_durano 6

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:13

haha :) that's pretty tight.

madie_hearts09 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:23

is your acne blue?? that'd be cool

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 4:13

madie that sooo funny!!!

beiberlookalike1 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 4:48

nicee pic sammmy:)

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:14

your friends seem to be broken, better go buy some new ones

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:50

#5 WIN

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:14

did they nickname you crater face? cuz that would be kinda cool...

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:50

pizza face would be better.....

KayS2 0

Send a private message

Monday 17 September 2012 8:36

Lol, I told my sister that she's the 'Rocky Mountain Chic'. It's a reference to an original song from the show Good Luck Charlie.

cheesepuffs159 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:15

that movie sucked

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:48

that movie rocked!

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 2:52

that movie rocked

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 4:47

what is wrong with you? that movie was amazing! ;)

x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 5:37

Are you joking? That movie was beautiful!

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:57

pah-lease...that movie was so lame and plagerized that they had to give it some cool effects to distract you.

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 7:16

well,^ arent we just miss debbie downer?

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 9:26

or negative Nancy :)

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 11:06

oh my opinion makes me a Debbie downer...sorry Hollywood likes to fuck with you and plagerize a classic.

jayjaysmokerson 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 11:30

actully most of the plot was a twist on aliens which was by Cameron too. so it's not stolen because he can do whatever he wants to his own story.

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:44

it is plagerized. Its just blue Pocahantus in space. but the special effects are still very good and entertaining

cookie_monster2 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:15

and factories make Twinkies look delish so they can distract you from all the calories it has. how about u lose some weight instead of getting on peoples nerves

Send a private message

Sunday 21 February 2010 3:02

how bout you shut up before I shove that fruit up your ass mr. cookie monster?! I'm not fat...I'm a size 7...gawd

tweetbaby14 18

Monday 22 February 2010 8:38

size 7 pants Id hate to break it to you but that is fat...

Send a private message

Monday 12 April 2010 0:01

Well they did a damn good job distracting me. Being American even the slightest shiny something can keep me content. :D And I personally loved Avatar.

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:15

maybe you should audition if there's going to be a sequel

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:16

hahaha thts hilarious can u make air shoot out of ur hands?

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:34

no but he make sumthing else shoot out of his zits

Send a private message

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:51

*she *her

Send a private message

Monday 16 April 2012 17:53

Wrong Avatar.... :/

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:19

there not true friends then

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 11

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 11

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 167

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 94