Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
I might have just vomited a bit.
dankpotatoes 2
The salty ones are always the best
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Comments (119)
SanchoClaus25 6
Pick me a winner?
Bluekaren16 19
If you were a booger, I'd pick you.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Apparently it's actually healthy -___- Still, that's freaking NASTY.
wtfdidudo 9
So is broccoli :P
challan 19
You must be so proud Op! Such a great lineage you have there! Grandma the boogie eater, and Dad has got to be the nut scratchier, right? hey... is your mom your gf?
lidsthesquid 4
Wow....bitch, much
olpally 33
Calling someone a name over the Internet, how mature of you... Thumb her down if you don't like the comment. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Skyblu10 10
Trying to argue with someone over the Internet, how smart of you!
sacredeye73 11
In all seriousness, Eating boogers is good for you. It builds up the immune system. I wouldn't recommend adults doing this in public, as, it is socially unacceptable. But... All you mommys out there, let the kiddies eat them up! It'll save a trip to the doc come cold and flu season.
mario2012 18
They taste like chicken.
steph97v05 11
Digging for gold
olpally 33
Family guy episode- mother tucker Quagmire sees Lois and peter's mom... He asks if Lois is single... She says no and introduces quagmire to peter's mother, Thelma(I think that's her name) quagmire says "who's thelma?" Lois says, "this is Thelma." and then quagmire says, "ewwwwwwwwwww." lol I imagine quagmire saying this to this FML.. Lol.. I need to get a life.
ItsTheKing 10
Son of a bitch. Usually when I see comments this long they contain the funnies. There were no ******* funnies.
olpally 33
Sorry 51... I tried and I failed... Time for me to *drink a beer* and watch the thumbs down commence... Mmmmm, beer :D
Celina_Lune 20
I almost puked. I guess life comes full circle. Eating your boogers as a kid? I guess you will in old age as well!
BubbleGrunge 18
You speak to my heart Noor...every aspect of your comment!!
perdix 31
When I see my grandma put her finger in her nose, I look the other direction. Sometimes not knowing is better. People who don't know what the Blue Waffle is are better than those who do.
kirbeaar 19
Agree 100% and don't forget about special fried rice.
namyo 13
I may have to urban dictionary that one
namyo 13
48 you ruined my innocence
Bluekaren16 19
Blue waffles are not real!!
Bluekaren16 19
52 - I looked it up too -_-. But it might not even be real? I mean blue waffles are not real.
perdix 31
#60, whatever it takes to get you through. Whatever it takes...
Bluekaren16 19
Perdix then what is the medical term for it?
Psych101 9
87- We could ask DocBastard, my guess is the correct term is "****** up."
perdix 31
#87. I don't know. I'm not that kind of doctor. The less you know about it and think about, the better person you will be. Let it go!
Bluekaren16 19
Its just annoying when people make up diseases so the kids at school spread disturbing pictures and start degrading women with a made up disease.