Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
I might have just vomited a bit.
dankpotatoes 2
The salty ones are always the best
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Comments (119)
TheJester12 15
Thank God it was fresh mucus Had it been old mucus this fml would be on a whole different level of disgusting. The salty ones are the best ;)
galic33130 2
Grandma!
TheLadyOpal 30
This FML needs a TMI button.
blondecat 6
I was eating a smoothie when i read this, oh well, now the trash can enjoy it.
outoftown 27
#49, Just consider FML a dieting aid. I stopped even trying to eat while here.
Snackycake 20
Gotta love those guys in speedos.
babygirl83150 8
Gross! But seriously OP, I hope you're not scarred for life. I know I would be!
2dog 15
Ewww!!! That's ******* nasty!!!
kayceecakess 7
The elder are just like children in some ways (;
ryhan87 0
the circle of life.
brandon3747 16
Wow