Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Today, my mom is obsessed with my academic success, as she was a highschool dropout, and actually gives me more homework than my school does, all so I’ll be more advanced than my peers. I barely know what a television is anymore, since it’s been so long I’ve had enough free time to watch one. FML
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML
Today, I accidentally left my bedroom light on all day. When I got home, my mum screamed at me for wasting electricity. This is the same woman who leaves the TV on all day while she’s at work, all so our dogs have something to watch and won't be “bored”. FML
Today, my mother went on another rant about the Smart TV not working. Instead of turning it off and on like she's been told to do before, she'll sit and complain about it. Even fixing it for her doesn't stop her complaining for another half-hour about technology. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesfucked 0
If she wants someone with morals, better try some other channel...
Livencountry 5
Leave her tv on the parenting channel, might help.
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Comments (65)
fishface517 10
Last time I checked, fox wasn't completely "morally upright" my mother says that family guy is "weird shit." and then doesn't let me watch it. Of course it never stopped me. Be who you are :)
Shadow_Phantom 26
Ah, Faux News... yeah. Don't watch that shit, it's not safe.
thephoenixlament 10
No, your life would be ****** if it actually worked. Sorry you have to live with someone like that though.
The_Mooinator 4
FOX is the most unbiased news network there is, its a great source.
Xxak907xX 0
Oh please be sarcasm...
The_Mooinator 4
Communist News Network
idontknowyou123 0
Hehehe FOX making people morally-upright... Yeah Right
brick_man33 14
Fox will make you a paranoid sissy that is too scared to fight when shit hits the fan.
andre5006 2
Infomercials are gomna make you moral upright?
ziphii 6
Am I the only one who noticed the "my tv" part of the comment? What kid has their own tv?
Petunia888 13
A lot of kids do nowadays. I know, it's crazy.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh dear lord, DEAL WITH IT!! If my generation has computers, iProducts, cellphones, gaming consoles, then they would obviously have the invention that existed for the past 60+ years.
ziphii 6
It's not like there weren't tvs around when I was a kid, but we had 2 in our house, and neither of them was "mine." I can see a computer, you need it for school. Maybe a cell phone, for safety. But do people really have a gaming console for each kid? Can't you share anything?
godlike1 5
I'm 15 and I have one in my room.
samikitty961 8
aren't there any republicans left in america?
The_Mooinator 4
me
cyK0tek 0
Awesome spoon!
SexyHindu 2
Yeah we are becoming extinct i think
The_Mooinator 4
No, its just that this site is biased. They keep bashing on FOX and I based on CNN and my comment got taken down. Regardless of this, the site is good.
The_Mooinator 4
bashed*
mrbuddy 0
Funny , brainwashing has always been Fox's goal anyway. It must have worked on her and now they've got her doing it to you.