Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Poor kitty
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Time to go to the vet
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Revenge is sweet
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Top comments
notyobitch 0
Most things sit butthole first.
nslurve 4
I failed to think of a clever comment.
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Comments (139)
Calyx_fml 22
Make sure he's not sitting on your toothbrush too.
hewro_failure 11
How do you sit any other way except butthole first?
fordman22 0
Your cat must like anal lol
drayloon 50
yay, pinkeye
raexvalo 4
Lol that's ******* funny! XD I'm sorry but it is.
stonedfishies 10
Time to purchase a new brush.
catharsis5 9
Maybe the contents of your cat's butt hole is the reason why its your favorite brush in the first place?
Fmlsea 28
talk about pink eye ew, I hope you get a new brush and give that old one to the cat so it dont sit on your new one .
pinkiewinkie 3
Disinfect that shit! And store your brushes safely away from anything that can damage or infect them. Most makeup brushes aren't cheap so take care of them!
baseballgirl25 6
Be happy the cat didn't try to eat them.