By gunnar - 20/09/2018 17:30
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wow that is SO not ok of her to do that! it is natural and a classic response on your part. I hope she deals with her anger and realised this. An Autism for parents course might be good. It is hard when it is your own child I think to take a step back when looking at behaviour and realise it is. natural response.
You are missing my point. It is a condition. For someone with autism that is a perfectly natural response. And who are you to say Autism isn't natural? It is not ideal but it is still part of the natural developing process that goes a bit wrong. You are being very insensitive, you could have said that differently.
I guess the question now is what exactly is this tic, precisely? If it's something minor like the occasional wink or eye twitch, then your mother is a tad over the line. If, on the other hand, it's something a little more noticeable like rubbing your nipples while barking like a dog, then her reaction is far more understandable.
All the more reason to NOT yell at OP in public. A nervous tic will only get worse after stress like yelling (any loud noises are stressors but hostility AND noise is super stressing), and being made the center of attention through a public scene. The mother's freakout would make the tic worsen. So the more uncomfortable the tic, the more reason to keep as calm and comfortable an environment as possible to help give OP the best odds of suppressing it. What on earth do you think the freakout accomplishes? OP gonna be all "Wow thanks mum, that public humiliation made my anxiety totally vanish! I'm totes chill now. Well done!" ugh
And now we know why OP’s family almost never goes out to eat in a restaurant... Frankly I can see some of both sides. Must the parents of autistic or other developmentally challenged children give up the ordinary niceties of going out as a family? And is it fair to shout at a child or young adult who acts out in potentially embarrassing ways if they cannot help it? I think the answer to both of these questions is no, but with a footnote. One of the problems autistic individuals face is an apparent inability to read social clues or always act in “socially acceptable” ways. We do not know the true extent of the “tic” that OP was expressing or if the other diners in the restaurant were giving social cues to OP’s family that the particular behavior was bothering them. While OP’s Mom was obviously wrong to scream at their autistic offspring, that does not mean that there was not a problem of some sort. And only OP knows for sure if they were truly unable to control their expressions of the “tic” or if they were unwilling to do so - There are degrees of every condition.
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I guess the question now is what exactly is this tic, precisely? If it's something minor like the occasional wink or eye twitch, then your mother is a tad over the line. If, on the other hand, it's something a little more noticeable like rubbing your nipples while barking like a dog, then her reaction is far more understandable.
wow that is SO not ok of her to do that! it is natural and a classic response on your part. I hope she deals with her anger and realised this. An Autism for parents course might be good. It is hard when it is your own child I think to take a step back when looking at behaviour and realise it is. natural response.