Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mthammer 4
Wow! I can understand the fire department but ambulance too??? What did you do?!?
Damn_Hippster 11
How could you forget the fire department and a ambulance? Those are key ingredients to French fries
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
bumgum1 0
Wait when does a smurf come into this? What are u? High?
All_Blacks 2
You don't like ketchup??
sinekt 9
Am I wrong if I assume you live somewhere in America? Jeezaz, I'm 24 years old, I'm a boy and I do french fries at home since I was 15. You people are dead without McDonalds, KFC, pizzas, etc.
Daralea 21
Yes, you are wrong... Because OP is from sri lanka.
dhiran_singh 16
Ever heard of defensive drivin'?
FweakofCydonia 40
Did the OP put in too much oil?
catanita 18
How could you go so wrong with french fries? Are so easy to made.
GRgoldfish 19
you also need a lot of olive oil.
subiedude08 17
Need more details please
343guiltyspark_fml 11
I bet the directions were too hard.
IHaveThePower 18
Try oven fries. Slice potatoes into fry shape, toss with olive oil and whatever spices you want (salt, garlic, onion, and paprika are tasty), then bake at 350 until done, stirring every 15 min--should take about three rounds. Playing with hot oil is not always your friend, and you'd be amazed how good oven fries are. To shorten cooking time, you can boil the potato slices before baking, but that's not really required.