Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today I found out my husband was throwing a 50th surprise party for me, and no one RSVP'd because of my best friend starting arguing with everyone in a group text. This was going to be the first big party or surprise party that I'd ever had. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bostonian3352 0
Well maybe now his surprise party can turn into his surprise divorce
huggles87 0
that sucks...maybe you could cancel the party, give him nothing but a card telling him to celebrate with the other bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
HAARP_fml 0
Throw a surprise divorce party instead.
crizpy7 0
That sucks, I'm sorry :( I would be devastated...
Tiddlesflyingcat 0
YDI for going through your husbands phone, you nosey bitch. Mabey he should throw you a party for your divorce because I'm sure he has the papers ready.
oystersmoke 0
Yo Bitch, is that trick ass hoe coming or wut?? Yous two chicken heads could be giving that man the freaky deaky on his B-day, Holla!
LilaBear 2
I agree she should try to sort things out before resorting to divorce, but she can still totally yell at him. "Make things worse"? He was the scumbag who cheated on her in the first place. He should be prepared for her to drag him over hot coals.
Puolukka 4
I gotta agree with Six_and_the_Moon on this one. If my husband cheats, he'll be GONE. Why would I talk to him about solving relationship issues if he's already pursued his own way of dealing with them by screwing another woman?! Really?! Why should anyone have to put up with that.
teiso_fml 0
Well... at least he'll be surprised... Actually, I'm sorry. That's terrible.
macropixi 0
I think I'd be tempted to invite the girlfriend anyway and confront him at the party... Would be entertaining to say the least. Did the Girlfriend know he was married or was the call from his wife a surprise too?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Agreed. Invite the girlfriend, then at the party surprisingly tell your husband you're divorcing him.
kukopia 0
So is she coming to the party? THAT would really be a SURPIZE!!!