Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after 22 years of perfect skin, I woke up with a bunch of angry zits on my nose. I used a clay face mask that was supposed to dry them out. Instead, they were bigger and green. Today is Valentine's day, I finally have a guy to go out with, and my nose looks like it's rotting off. FML
Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML
Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML
Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML
Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said, "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML
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Top comments
randomkayx3 11
That's kind of horrible.. That leads kids to feeling insecure which then leads to suicide. Quire ironic considering today is Suicide Awareness Day..
Lauren324 18
Picking leaves to scarring!
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Comments (102)
R4inb0wBrit3 13
You forgot that you were showering because you had a date with your girlfriend?
ideasrule 13
The crater-filled surface of Mars? Mars has very few prominent craters because it has an atmosphere that protects the surface from most impactors. Mars has many more craters than the Earth, because it's nothing compared to the Moon or Mercury.
laughsalot1993 2
Ice bro, ice.
icecoldwaterr 1
Forgot about that date huh
musicforever444 4
Acne is the worst, I'm sorry. Hopefully she will understand and ignore it :)
treefitty 2
You'll have to forgive her ::puts on sunglasses:: Curiosity.
paijus 0
She's already your girlfriend. Unless she's a shallow jerk then she will get over it. Just be confident
Kazenoe 24
I agree with everyone who says he shouldn't have anything to worry about, but I don't think caring about acne makes you a "shallow jerk". I love my boyfriend and I'd never leave them for something like that, but I do want to feel attracted to them. It took ne a while to admit his facial bloom was bothering me. Nowadays we joke about it tigether, calling them the "Evil Ones", as we wash our face each morning with our "Holy weapons". obviously, not everyone is the same. :)
paijus 0
By shallow jerk I meant in an extreme case if she was just like I'm breaking up with you, you're not good enough Bleh your face. Etc. but no I don't think caring about acne makes people jerks
fatalwish 6
ouch that sucks maby next te try to use a pipeing hot washcloth and some peroxide the heat opems pores and dab a bot of peroxide on them to clean the bacteria its what i always did worked well.
usmcwife44 2
Try Seabreeze Astrigent at Sally's. It works like magic clearing up skin and is painless!
CtotheK 7
And leaving the pimples I popped would have somehow been more appealing?