Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
Maybe he was saving it to ration?
sabrage 0
Was there mustard on it? Mustard is disgusting.
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Comments (42)
DerpingtonHerp 14
Homeless people have standards god dammit
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You have to watch out for fake homeless people. We have them in my area, for sure. But yeah, if he was really homeless and hungry, taste wouldn't have mattered.