Miscellaneous: Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my...

By DaveAlmighty - 02/07/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 210

You deserved it 12 323

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Same thing different taste

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 966

You deserved it 1 789

Cops can't catch criminals

By frustrated - 17/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 368

You deserved it 4 800

Confess!

By hitandrun - 10/08/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 222

You deserved it 76 087

By Meg - 13/06/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 362

You deserved it 2 816

By DrugDeal - 09/06/2011 01:24 - Canada

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 645

You deserved it 3 395

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 407

You deserved it 8 457

I'm a weirdo, I'm a creep

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, I was sitting behind some bushes in the dark enjoying the view, when some cops came and confiscated my night-vision goggles, then warned me for acting like a "creepy perv." FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 3 506

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:49 - Germany - Stuttgart

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 303

You deserved it 2 592

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 2 224

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 166

tgm0112 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 16:03

You had no way of knowing if they were doing their job right. FYL

kath91 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 16:05

You weren't to know, if they were sitting in front of your house they deserved it.

Comments

jahwn 12

Thursday 2 July 2009 18:41

FYL, we need more people who have the guts to do something.

Dixie_Normous 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 18:41

All I'm hearing is "Today I threatened some cops and got away with it." If anything this is an FMLIA: ****, my life is awesome.

Nacirema20 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 18:51

this was a hard one... but i ended up putting FYL.

archue 2

Thursday 2 July 2009 18:53

You are my hero!

andy3_fml 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 18:56

i didnt know tjat perverted cops existed O_o

rayrayy_fml 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 19:13

...you didn't? Get out more, hmm?

ben26_fml 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 19:00

how were you supposed to know they were cops, thats the whole point. bro, you did the right thing dont worry

queenrocks10 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 19:04

The hunters become the hunted XD

Mikababyyy 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 19:10

I think you did a good job

lmmmr 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 19:15

Oh you're so clever. Except that this website requires all FMLs to begin with the phrase "Today," regardless of how it may or may not fit in with the story.