Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML
Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML
Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
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Top comments
Joshua137 0
Nothing wrong with being critical about the **** you watch.
zack11742 7
Haha he'd just yell at her for looking at him during sex
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Comments (194)
Togetheralone10 1
She's doing her job!
Pelreskovich 11
Hopefully your next girlfriend doesn't keep looking into the camera!
FalconCrunch 4
Good, I hope her sorrowful gaze sent sharp pangs of guilt through you each time. You deserve it.
peteyfas 8
Guilt for watching ****? You're being naive. There are two types of guys in the world, those who ********** and those without arms. (over simplified, I know. But the point is if you don't watch **** you are the small percentage)
cheesendouche 1
guys who watch **** are better in bed. a little one sided and self absorbed as **** generally focus's on a guys needs but hey still better at their art. there is nothing wrong with ****. maybe u could watch it sometime and learn something yourself! dont be such a prude.
crimsonprodigy 15
Did she hear you?
Yung23 0
Why don't you get out there and show her how it's done;)
Kolden 11
Dude, I hate that too
perdix 31
Yeah, me, too! I feel bad for the dude -- it's like she's cheating on him with me even when she is sucking and ******* him. The **** actresses who pose for the camera think they are going to get noticed by those who make legitimate films. Hey, lady, jokes on you -- it's over. No one goes from **** to real acting, except Tracy Lords.
Aoifexzx 3
Kim Kardashian seems to have managed it.
hotPinklipstick 24
Kim Kardashain isn't an actress, she is a money hungry barbie doll wanna be. She is an attention *****.
shadexilmaendu 4
Which is kinda sad really. I wonder how many of the people who deny **** actresses for real jobs have gotten off to them previously. :p But in america if you're not putting down some group or other you're doin it wrong :D
perdix 31
A sex tape doesn't make you a pornstar. There are very few examples of chicks who get hammered by hundreds of long-dong dudes on film even succeeding in clothes-on movies.
Aoifexzx 3
I never said Kim Kardashian was GOOD, but she acts.
FMLGriff 8
try to either: 1.) get a life, or 2.) use the other hand....
The_Hitdude 12
The FML says nothing about having hand problems....
atomicbaboon 0
to all of you saying OP needs a girlfriend, i highly doubt he's choosing to be single
faydanielle 2
He won't get a girlfriend sat watching **** though, will he?
faydanielle 2
He's not going to get a girlfriend sat watching **** though, is he?!
Llamacod 11
I'm sorry I didn't catch what you said, could you repeat it a 3rd time
McAninch35 9
This time higher and with your mouth open?
Shelta957 13
BANG!!! (I'm duck hunting faydanielle)
mikeawesome 0
Your life only sucks because you clearly watch too much ****.. U need to get laid...
maxwells_hammer 5
We only know of the OP watching one porno. So one is clearly too many to you? Well I'm sure glad you're so perfect and nonjudgemental.