Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
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Top comments
Jasim 17
Your mom had a great sense of humor. And your vibrator.
fuckercakes 21
Honestly your mum is hilarious.
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Comments (58)
wulff115 8
wow very funny
SpittinThisShit 8
So you complain that she found it and now that she wont tell you where it is? If you actually felt "ashamed" she found it you could have at least waited a few days before asking, im sure you can go a few days without having to stick something so far up yourself you make an fml because your mom wont give it back YDI :)
pacmanman 15
Looks like you're back to a "hands on" method.
Llama_Man2000 26
Mum level over 9000
kalbrek009 20
Kids don't "need" adult toys...end of story. But if you're at least 18...then that sucks
limabeans101029 21
What, so when someone turns 18 they suddenly develop sexual desires? That's ridiculous. Young people ********** and there's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps using a vibrator is the only way OP can enjoy it. It's just masturbation, I really don't see the big deal.
AutisticAbyss 10
Your Spider senses wont be the only thing tingling!!
yomomonastick 9
use the spider, it has 8 legs ;)
jack_splat 11
There once was a girl that masturbated with a spider it wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
SmittyJA24 26
You don't want that vibrator back. Seriously. Frankly, I find it weird that your mom took it.
Mooglefox 24
I wouldn't want it back