Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Did you smoke/snort the buttons, at least?
Reyo 2
So let me get this straight, you never found any drugs, right? We found this baggie! But did you find any DRUGS? We found this bag- I didn't ask if you found a baggie, I know you found a baggie, I asked if you found any DRUGS. Bag- DRUGS! ba- DRUGS! ...b- DRUGS! ......no fucken thought so.
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Comments (65)
musicislife1995_fml 0
#10 LMAO win.
CallMeHush 1
What is the street price on those buttons, or is that a button of crack?
LemonStarship 5
Tell them to clean the mess
schwinn11 0
One day you're sit'n around with your buddies smoke'n buttons, and the next thing you know 10 years has passed by and you've moved on to doing zippers and clothes pins.
hannahb20 0
I LOVE YOU
schwinn11 0
One day you're sit'n around with your buddies smoke'n buttons, and the next thing you know 10 years has passed by and you've moved on to doing zippers and clothes pins.
f_alltheirlives 3
People wouldnt try zippers if people could buy buttons in regular shops. The problem is that when they go to buy buttons they might get offered to try something else "to keep them warm" Buttons is harmless people! It's the zipper that ***** up the penis
newsgit 0
the above two posts are full of win.
perdix 31
Spare buttons? Of LSD, I'll bet! Busted!
ThisismeBaby 0
thats pretty funny haha no parent would believe it was a button bag haha hilarious
Sappheyes 0
Sorry, I was going to tell you that I took the rest of your buttons, but I got distracted while rolling my face off.
Birdy13 0
My friend thinks I do weed because he found a bag which once contained safety pins. Oy. How else do you store safety pins and buttons?? It even had safety pin imprints on it
SNOTTYBONES 0
My mom and dad found a baggie of catnip in my room. The original bag it came in had a hole in it. Boy that was fun trying to get out of that one. lol