Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thefmlinator 10
I'd do what he says
tabletoplady 11
Your dad is my hero.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
angelitared 27
Dude ur dads awesome. He already knew that douce bag you were dating wasn't worth it.
offrampmotel 11
Your dad is awesome!
kyu_Q 19
In times like that you should be thinking ahead. Lime and shovel or acid and large plastic tub. Awesome dad.
crewge6 4
Ur dad is a god (^.^)/
missalice0306 19
You really should have seen this coming-your dad's reaction to an emotional situation isn't going to be the same as your mom's or your best friend's. If you wanted somebody to hold you and call you their poor baby, you should have went to them.
MythsNLegends 10
I applaud your father for this. Any loving father would want that after someone hurt his little girl. Just make sure he does all the digging. :)
anmolm97 12
911...my dad has lost it!!
EdwardNewgate_fml 2
Wow, I'm not the only person who says 'kill the shit out of them'
Itonlyhappenstom_fml 3
I'd take that. It's about as good as it gets.
lonewolf621 17
Super awesome dad!!!