Intimacy: Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling...

By BlueBallMcGee - 11/05/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 759

You deserved it 7 027

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 2 596

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 115

By Canali18 - 17/09/2016 14:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 390

You deserved it 1 114

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 49 683

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 6 443

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 228

Parenting is exhausting

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 354

You deserved it 2 900

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 351

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 529

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 190

genius_man16 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:35

Rejected. Maybe you should be better in bed? Or maybe it was just one of those days for your wife? Idk, lots of explanations, but unless you haven't gotten any for weeks this really isn't an FML.

mattmag 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:57

So take a nap with her, cuddle and whatnot, then **** when you wake up.

Comments

hfs 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:23

cockblock

Beerdnthrone 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:36

Superman that hoe.

monicamischief 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:39

what a horrible wife. she can't take thirty minutes for a quicky? sorry you married a woman like that. if you are only going to **** your man like, twice a month, you shouldn't be in a relationship. that's cruel and selfish. unless sleep IS really better, and in that case, you must be horrible in bed. : S

dancing_bear 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:51

#36, how would you like it if you weren't in the mood for sex and somebody tried to force you into it? Not much, I assume. OP, don't think she can be blamed for it, and especially if you were being really persistent she probably just wanted to get you off her back... even so, it does suck for you.

genius_man16 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:54

lol, #35 wins

dormouse_fml 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:55

I think it's completely understandable for someone to be really tired and not want to have sex. If she actually went to sleep at 6:30, then she probably was exhausted. It is not your spouse's job to be sexually available for you all the time.

Eresbel 0

Monday 11 May 2009 22:55

monicamischief, you are an entitled ass. just because she's his wife doesn't mean he gets an all-access pass to her body. that's the same line of thinking by people who believe there's no such thing as rape within a marriage. (i'm not accusing the OP of rape, just to make that clear now.) OP, it's not really an FML, i bet she was just tired. even if she stayed at home all day, she still could have just been tired. lol, it's like a magic 8 ball - try again later.