FFS guys really! What the hell? Look you dont know that guy and the situation so you can only guess. Thing is he had his heart set on having sex with his wife after coming home from working all day and when he got home at 6:30 she would rather go to sleep. In any situation that sucks. Fact. Thats all OP is saying. He could be saying FML cuz its a regular thing or cuz he is only recently married and hasnt decided to accept the monthly sexual activity of married life yet. Quit having a massive debate over it. If you feel bad for him then go sort out someone to have sex with him, if you think hes whining and not having sex is not that big of a deal in a marriage then go back to gardening or collecting stamps or whatever you do with your free time. This guy just wanted some loving, had built up to it all day, and didnt get it. FYL mate! Try again tomorrow?

Everyone here is saying the same thing from different perspectives. If you are in a relationship and your needs are not being met, be those needs sexual, communicative, or emotional, then it is an issue and your relationship will suffer. In a mature, adult relationship these issues would be discussed and you and your partner would decide what compromises you would feel comfortable with. Under absolutely no circumstances should either partner do anything that they are not comfortable with, but often, real love for your partner will make you more willing to compromise. Now, the conflict of interest here largely comes down to, when the female partner is not comfortable under any circumstances offering her body to be used when she is not otherwise motivated (which, as a feminist I can absolutely identify with), does the male partner value the other aspects of the relationship enough to overlook that aspect on occasion? If no, the relationship fails. If yes, then they should use the stronger aspects of the relationship to come to an understanding and find ways for their needs to realign. While I personally value the communicative and emotional aspects of a relationship higher than the sexual, I understand that they are not mutually exclusive, and that not everyone feels the same. And I do have to disagree with monicamischef in that even celibate adult relationships can have a significant intimacy that can't be equated to friendship. Yes, that will become more intimate with a responsible sexual connection, but even without, it's not simply a friendship in many cases. The original poster failed on two accounts. If this happens often enough that his needs are regularly not met, he should: 1. Attempt to turn her on before you decide that it's time to do it. He mentioned no efforts on this at all. If he did try and it failed, and this is the case often, then refer to 2. 2. Get off the internet and have a conversation with the woman he loves about it. Clearly she needs something to be turned on that he is not offering. Be it physical or emotional. The wife is not at fault here.

She may have had a long day as well and not in the least interested in sex.

Time to get A New Wife, LOL.

#84 is the stereotypical hopelessly romantic girl. Sex is an important means for communication on an emotional and physical level. What if your boyfriend told you "I don't want to have sex with you because I find you unattractive, but let's still talk" ? Would that not affect your relationship with him emotionally? Would you even date him anymore?

weird how girls freak out when its the other way, while guys just make fun of this. oh well i agree with number 2

Look, monica, if the only way your boyfriend can relieve stress is to ejaculate into one of your orifices, he's got bigger problems than anyone on FML can address. It's not "frigid" for someone to maintain autonomy over their own body or to have a low libido. Physical intercourse is not the only way a person can support and maintain a relationship. It is, in fact, a poor substitute for a true emotional connection. That's why so many relationships fall apart after the first two or three years - the physicality runs its course and there's no underlying connection. Don't get me wrong, I love sex and I consider it essential to any healthy romantic relationship *I* embark on (as opposed to, say, asexuals) but in the end, when my SO truly needs support or to assuage stress, I use my words first and my ****** second. FYI, I thought the guy proposing in the theatre was asshole-y too.

OK, mostly I agree with the first part of #87 - lmmmr, but part of me also agrees with this monica person in a way (whilst also agreeing with the poster who made the point she was 20yrs old; of course it's not a problem for her yet). Do I think that girls should sometimes make the effort to please guys when they're not in the mood? Yes, provided that it's a relationship where both partners make that kind of effort (in and out of the bedroom) and neither party is selfish and everything is balanced. But a lot of my opinion on this comes from the fact that most girls I've known who make that effort in a selfless way usually end up enjoying the sex just as much as the guy does, so it ends up being win/win, anyway. Do I think they should do this all the time? No, because given the difference in libido, it can be an unrealistic and slightly unfair expectation. Do I think that it's all right to cheat on a partner for not giving it to you enough? Definitely not. Do I think you should talk about it if it's a real issue? Absolutely. ANYWAY! That's not the issue here. OP made it very clear what the issue was. "She said that sleep was better than sex". It's really very simple - if the sex was good, sleep would not be better than sex. Because when sex is good, there's pretty much NOTHING better than it. Sorry, OP. Better luck next time!

Have a wank

I just find her attitude about the whole thing heartless. "Sleep is better than sex." and she proceeds to crash. How inconsiderate. I find it odd that people would side with the woman regardless of who was playing the roles here. She should have done something, not necessarily sex; even just picking her words more carefully would have made all the difference. Offer to cuddle, explain your hard day, something. There is some lack of communication going on here and I completely understand why the OP feels hurt in this regard. Your partners have been lucky to have you monica. Cheers.