Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML
Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
Rejected. Maybe you should be better in bed? Or maybe it was just one of those days for your wife? Idk, lots of explanations, but unless you haven't gotten any for weeks this really isn't an FML.
mattmag 0
So take a nap with her, cuddle and whatnot, then **** when you wake up.
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Comments (128)
kiit23 0
Sometimes people dont want to do stuff at the same time you do. It's normal to feel upset, but at the same time, understand what might be going on for them. Also i"m not sure what you working a 12 hour shift has to do with wanting to bone, unless you're trying to say she shouldn't be tired because she wasn't the one working? Just think about this. If you're in the mood, and they're exhausted, and not in the mood... would it really be worth it if they consented anyways? I'd rather wait until they want it just as bad, becuase otherwise it feels forced. Seriously, put yourself in their shoes and calm down, not getting laid isn't the end of the world.
iskryla 0
"Sleep is better than sex" and off to bed by 6:30pm? If this is a one-time thing, no biggie, but if this is how she's been for a while, she sounds depressed. Maybe instead of complaining "FML", you should be wondering you how could help the woman you love to feel better, so that sex can be good again for both of you? To those who suggested cheating or dumping her, shows how little marriage means to you ppl, or how little you value those you "love".
ammali 0
#22, that sucks. I'm sure glad I found a man who loves me unconditionally and makes sure I am always satisfied. I do the same for him, and guess what, we're still happy together and have a great sex life. A little self-sacrificial love, a lot of consideration for the other, and creativity in the sack goes a long way.
Zxmbye 0
The more and more I read these comments, the more and more thankful I am that I don't have a sex drive.
I2OI3 0
SO WHAT DID YOU DO? MADE A DATE WITH PALMELA HANDERSON, AM I RIGHT??!
EffExWives 0
Yeah, I went through that for 9 years STRAIGHT then 10 days after our 9th anniversary she moved out because she wasn't happy anymore. No warning, no fight, just not happy. And a guy she met at work. Be careful what you wish for my friend. FML too.
tragiclife1234 0
Im a sexy, hot teen girl. I am looking to talk dirty so comment back bitches (=
Ja_Ja_Jess 0
awes that sucks.... do you like suck in bed er something? er is this just one of her days where she doesnt want to ...
Vistula 0
Who cares dude have a couple beers and fall asleep on the couch
juega12847 0
YDI for saying "proceeded".