Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3 a.m. throwing up." He replied, "Great, see you at 9." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
At 9AM sharp, march into his office and vomit all over his desk. Then see how long he wants you to stay.
catatonicsleep 17
Saying you'd been puking since 3am could imply you'd been out drinking which you would still have to go to work, you should have made it clearer you were sick.
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Comments (75)
mandypandypants 4
Sounds like something my boss would say. Your boss is a prick bastard. If I were you I'd show up and purposely throw up in his office, maybe he'd get the hint.
xmarkstheheart 0
#6 and #10, they speak the truth! If the OP has a job where he speaks with the public either in person or on the phone, he CANNOT go in to work! If it is that type of job, then his boss is a dumbass. Do you know how hard it is to talk to a customer while holding back a gag or vomit? I've thrown up in a garbage can before while working at a sales counter because I came in sick. You think a customer wants to be exposed to that sight, sound and smell??? Quit that job. FYL.
Brittneyyyy 7
Ugh I know the feeling OP. I had bronchitis and was told not to go to work while I was contagious, and when I tried to call in sick my boss told me to take some cold medicine and then she hung up. I just didn't come in. I don't think they can fire you if you have a legitimate excuse, and a doctor's permission.
afnig32 0
suck it up and go to work. if your that bad go to the hospital
Calyx_fml 22
Quit.
thirdtesticle 0
OP is obviously always making lame excuses and manager is fed up.
snafu63 0
can't deny sick leave.
iamtwiggyme 0
that's really creepy
skullcandifiedDJ 5
u forgot to mention that u were throwing up due to a Freakin hangover
andreajo23 0
that sounds like my boss