Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3 a.m. throwing up." He replied, "Great, see you at 9." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
At 9AM sharp, march into his office and vomit all over his desk. Then see how long he wants you to stay.
catatonicsleep 17
Saying you'd been puking since 3am could imply you'd been out drinking which you would still have to go to work, you should have made it clearer you were sick.
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Comments (75)
kai_li 8
I'll probably get flamed for this but I bet we're not hearing the whole story. I bet OP calls off sick a lot and the boss is just tired of the excuses. I had a girl tell me she is too sick to come into work until next week, but yet she felt well enough to drive a co-worker into work and hang out in the parking lot. I also have a guy who calls off 9 out of 10 shifts with excuses from "stomach flu";"dad had a heartache (6 times now!)"; "fell down the stairs";"kid has chicken pox and our house is quarantined"; etc. I have heard them all. When you have 3 people call off on one day, you just get tired on how unprofessional people are. That said, if it is the first time, your boss is a jerk...
fthku 13
Fire them? What kind of dumbass calls a day off work and still goes to the parking lot? Forget that the boss might see you, WHY go to the damn workplace if you obviously wanted some freedom from work. You should fire her specifically for being dumb, not for lying.
muffinmonster101 0
wow what an asshole...
macskapingvin 0
So, did you see him at 9 inches?
DakotaCat 4
Lol that's what happens when you work for Bill Lumbergh
LilThingsInLife 0
I went to a doctor's appointment in the morning, a few weeks ago. I called my boss when I walked back from the doctor's and told her that I had a sinus infection. She asked me if I was given antibiotics. I told her no, because they don't want to give those for everything anymore because they lower your immune system. Instead I was given a spray and painkillers, and was told to come back if it hadn't gone away in a week. "Oh," she said, "So when can you get here?" I was not prepared for that question, and told her "in an hour or so." I can relate.
honoshikun 3
Tell your boss that he's worse than a Chinese labour camp boss
jumping_duckie 0
haha i wouldnt go quite so far as to say that
ams2643 2
aha my boss told me that throwing up is no excuse to miss work before lol when he hardly came to work anyway
Sirassmo 0
You probably used that excuse the week before
brittber 0
then u mussed had called in sick alot..huh
RilleyRedd 1
Nice workplace you got there!