Love: Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was...

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 867

You deserved it 5 354

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Same thing different taste

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 228

You deserved it 3 802

That weird family down the street

By aaaaaaaand I’m single - 24/07/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 235

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 2 607

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 749

You deserved it 6 935

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 349

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 874

You deserved it 3 323

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 195

You deserved it 3 019

By AnonymousLoser - 11/09/2013 09:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 031

You deserved it 3 736

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 459

You deserved it 18 533

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 511

You deserved it 3 192

wlddog 14

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:02

Well you see... First the house was attacked by pirates. Thankfully the mom managed to get her hands on the family wooden sword and defend their dwelling. But then they found out there was actually a spy in the house and it was a clone of the sister. Of course everyone knows that clones can only be defeated by getting put in the dryer, so dad was defeating the evil clone while mom defended against any future pirate attacks. It was a good thing Op brought his girlfriend to his house for safety, because who knows which house the pirates would attack next!

Jelbeztok 17

Sunday 19 May 2013 0:56

sounds like you have a very interesting family. what was their reason for this?

Comments

uoeno_fml 20

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:07

Haha that's awesome! I get you and your girlfriend will get a laugh out of it, your family sounds terrific

aliciacleopatra_fml_fml 8

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:08

did anyone else notice this fml did not start with "today"?

M3DIC4T3 29

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:10

Well OP no one has a perfect family. If your S/O judges you harshly based on your family, at least you know now and can leave before wasting years on them and finding out the hard way.

olpally 32

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:11

Sounds like you are the griffin family! Lol. Wow.

M3DIC4T3 29

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:15

...That would actually make a lot of sense. Peter shoving Meg into a dryer is a plausible scenario.

olpally 32

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:25

Damn right it does #20!! Lol, mental image of this is perfect now! Lol.

LyraAlluse 25

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:17

Sounds like a normal day at my house.

Jemm_fml 29

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:45

Just a typical day in Narnia. I fail to see the issue here.

VeganVampyre 26

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:50

Exactly. They were probably shocked to see OP and his girlfriend come through the wardrobe. I mean door. Really, he shouldn't have intruded on the white witch's territory.

Jemm_fml 29

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:51

Where the hell is Aslan when you need him?

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 May 2013 2:27

Cussing out people who speak to him in Hindi at his place of business. Oh. That says Aslan not Asian. I need a better monitor. Or new glasses.

mangoqueen 8

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:48

It's a little embarrassing, but it could've been worse. When I first met my husbands parents, I felt like they were scrutinizing my every move. Walking into a house where everyone's a little crazy and not afraid to show it would actually put me at ease.

theknozzle 14

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:55

What girl wouldn't be impressed? Your family sounds like something out of Bob's Burgers. If anything, I'd feel relaxed. Perfect, never awkward families would just make me anxious during the visit.