Health: Today, I broke my fifth bone in three years. While I'd like say...

By klutz - 15/12/2016 15:41 - United States - Woburn

Today, I broke my fifth bone in three years. While I'd like say that they've all been scary, athletic injuries, most have been from attempting to do things as mundane as walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 505

You deserved it 859

Health

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Dysfunctional

Eco-friendly

Picture game

By Anonymous - 01/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 2 105

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 130

You deserved it 26 061

By Greg - 16/12/2018 13:30

Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 212

By themcdave - 19/05/2012 08:03 - United Kingdom - Cranfield

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 532

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 18/11/2014 23:43 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 704

You deserved it 6 738

By Mika_Ookami - 21/02/2010 17:54 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 016

You deserved it 3 244

Bored

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 22:58 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 50

By idiot says "you raised him" - 31/05/2014 21:30 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 123

You deserved it 7 952

By wasp infestation - 03/10/2016 04:54 - United States - Aurora

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 446

You deserved it 1 005

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 39 552

By emma_waters23 - 26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 759

You deserved it 5 976

By caswell 1 - 28/02/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 453

You deserved it 13 180

By Soakedandbroke - 26/01/2016 17:05 - United States - Houston

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 887

You deserved it 1 749

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 518

You deserved it 3 065

By disgusting - 31/05/2015 09:13 - United Kingdom - Thetford

Today, I uploaded a photo of myself at the beach on Facebook. The first comment it got was "Wow!! If I was 20 yrs younger, oh boy ;)". Yeah, thanks for that, grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 594

You deserved it 2 874

By jcheer113 - 17/05/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 912

You deserved it 31 680

Not a car person

By Vehophobic - 21/09/2020 07:05 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 657

Shark-infested offices

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 20:01

Today, I attended my father’s funeral. I have the week off work, and one of my colleagues is using this time to make a play for my job. I’m not supposed to be checking emails, so I can’t call them out on it until I get back, by which time it may be too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 104

By catattack78 - 21/10/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 253

You deserved it 3 990

Saturday Night Fever-ish

By lonely - 15/09/2019 04:05 - Canada - Granby

Today, I invited a bunch of friends over to hang out and watch a movie. It's been two hours since everyone was supposed to turn up, and no one has showed. Thanks, friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 125

By ShutTheFuCupcake - 13/05/2014 23:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 609

You deserved it 70 742

Thanks, "Mom"

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 539

You deserved it 2 267

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 777

You deserved it 78 756

By Earths_Venus - 25/12/2009 06:28 - Australia

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 222

You deserved it 3 472

By Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 354

You deserved it 3 507

Light day

By Anonymous - 09/10/2019 14:01

Today, on my 16th birthday, my lightly worn jeans split while I was at school. I attempted to fix them with staples, but I have a metal allergy. So I took my driving exam with a rash on my butt and staples digging in, in a car that had no AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 382

By needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 343

You deserved it 23 555

Credibility loss

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 11:01 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was promoted to vice president of my company. I gave a speech explaining how I intended to run things more transparently. When I bent down to pick up my folder, my pants split. Somebody said, "Powerpuff girls panties. Transparent indeed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 259

By Anonymous - 29/11/2012 00:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 050

You deserved it 1 700

By Anonymous - 22/05/2012 10:35 - Philippines

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 286

You deserved it 6 578

By CallMeJesusFreak - 23/06/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 942

You deserved it 7 875

Food porn

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 22:01

Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 285

Caine

By dogless - 04/12/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I found my pitbull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He'd peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60-dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 161

You deserved it 6 621

By Bluetooth Connection - 01/10/2018 03:00

Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 4 315

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 04:00

Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers when one of them decided to put out his cigarette on the table and missed. I now have a nice burn mark on my hand. Did he say sorry? No. "Your hand shouldn't have been there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 772

You deserved it 380

By fmlimoverit - 12/09/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 186

You deserved it 3 675

By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 20:00

Today, I offered to let my niece and brother stay at my apartment, as my brother was going through a rough divorce and had lost his job. After coming home from work, I found my niece had snapped all of my pencils and had ruined over ten years worth of artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 534

You deserved it 324

By julie24 - 30/05/2014 02:30 - France

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 172

You deserved it 46 002

By badatlove - 03/11/2016 20:42 - United States

Today, I climbed to the top of the tallest building in my city with this guy I really like. He spotted the girl he had a crush on, and wouldn't shut up about her for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 899

You deserved it 986

By KnightToucan - 21/06/2019 02:09

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 126

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Top comments

Kinzidoll 4

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Thursday 29 December 2016 8:39

Osteogenesis Imperfecta, also known as brittle bone disease. A lot of people have it and don't know it. I've knowing since I was 4. I've had over 22 broken bones not including fingers or toes.

jessicasoho 13

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 21:33

I broke a bone while sitting inside a parked car. Even had my seat belt on. Wouldn't get myself worked up over breaking a bone while walking. Much more easily explainable and feasible while walking.

Devolution 8

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 11:02

I'm gonna need a backstory for this one

Lalala579121 27

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 11:28

OP was walking. They broke a bone.

Devolution 8

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 12:22

While that is a very intuitive and indubitable observation, the concept of a backstory seems to have ricocheted off your bonehead.

Lalala579121 27

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 12:39

I would imagine based on the description of "mundane as walking" in the FML, there isn't exactly any story behind it (ie. walking into something). If there was, it would more likely than not be part of the FML. They were walking, and they broke a bone. That IS the backstory.

Earl_KarmasBitch 29

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 11:32

Time to start engineering train crashes to find your nemesis.

TheAprilWitch 21

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 15:27

That was my first thought too.

trollcrusher 17

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Wednesday 21 December 2016 1:35

Heh, and I was going to ask if OP was into comic books.

zedjaleaf1 11

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 11:37

I to once walked down the yellow brick road and prompted the lion to snap my femur using the scarecrows straw. All I can say is it is making it very difficult to tippity tap.

Snarkydi 0

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 12:06

That isn't normal, we call those pathologic fractures and you should be worked up by a doctor if you haven't been already.

LindaBlack 5

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 12:36

possibly you have a light form of osteogenesis imperfecta, maybe ask your doctor about it?

MidnaLink 33

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 15:14

I don't know why you're being downvoted, this is actually a real thing, and it makes sense.

Indianboy9321 25

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 17:01

Big words scare people unfortunately

Freakitten 20

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 19:27

Real thing, my mom passed away from osteoporosis as her bones got too brittle. She'd cough and crack a rib or slip a disk in her spine. Definitely check with a doc OP.

Saraishi 24

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 19:34

Osteoporosis and osteogenesis imperfecta are two very different things.

Kinzidoll 4

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Thursday 29 December 2016 8:43

Truth. Whenever I tell people I have it they always go with "Take osteoporosis meds" or "drink more milk."

chantelle9294 19

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 12:58

I managed to fracture my Tibia while jogging in an attempt to get fit again. It ended with me not being able to walk without a splint for over a month. Apparently it wasn't the right time to get fit. My doctor immediately sent me for a bone density test, and it sounds like you need one too.

mariri9206 32

Tuesday 20 December 2016 13:00

ooh, five broken bones in three years? that's rough. I've had several injuries myself over the years but, thankfully, no broken bones yet. I managed to dislocate my knee once by standing, though. Coming up on the seven year anniversary of that, actually - it happened on Christmas eve. Anyway, hope it heals fast and nicely, OP!

gothiccookies 10

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 13:28

I'm currently in a cast due to tripping and fracturing my wrist while playing with my dog, so I definitely feel your pain OP! I agree with other commenters about have bone density checked though, that's a lot of breaks to experience in such a short period.

sororitytaylor 24

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 14:06

I've got glass bones and paper skin...

Taco The Dank 27

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Wednesday 21 December 2016 2:57

"I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."

Audem_fml 27

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Tuesday 20 December 2016 15:54

A friend had the same problem. He broke a leg twice in a year. Apparently he wasn't having enough sun for his type of skin (dark) so he was lacking vitamin D (it regulates the stuff needed in bones). But now in Australia he doesn't have this problem anymore :P I guess since you're in Massachusetts (not very sunny I imagine) it may apply to you too :)