Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...
perdix 31
Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.
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Comments (109)
happle 21
Technically OP should look out for the thing.
simoncat 11
Peanut butter will remove the gum. So will icing the gum patches.
Suaria 38
OP obviously you have not learned how to clean a cat. I have a long haired cat. When he sheds, you have to help get loose hair out of his coat or else they will be coughing up hair balls. My suggestion to clean your cat is to wear something as a protector such as a big jacket or something.
broncos67 9
The thing about scars are that they don't go away...
meridius4510 4
Give'er benedyrl.
mes316 5
Rub peanut butter on her/him it should loosen up the gum from its fur:)
vr4_211 2
One word - ouch!
jmacfan1 16
There is a way to bathe a cat without getting scratched but your going to need some help. Ask a friend or you mom or some one you trust to help you. Either you or whoever you get to help is going to have to hold the cat basically like the cat is hog tied. Hold both back paws in one hand and both front paws in the other hand. Doing this in the sink would be best because the cat is going to be upside down back facing the sink. Then whoever is not holding the cat can wash the cat without getting scratched. Trust me this method works. When I still had my cat that's how my mom and I bathed him until he got declawed and got used to the baths.
giovannisaines 1
Use gasoline
Vapour120 2
Why don't you shoot the stupid thing?