Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...
perdix 31
Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.
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Comments (109)
catanita 18
You should try clipping it's claws.
AJE98 5
Looks like your going to pet smart
guemarez 9
As cat owner myself, I have two words for you, Pet Groomer.
EvilUndead 9
You had it coming - cats are curious.
caysters 12
This reminds me of a post I've seen on Facebook about how to clean a cat... Toss soap into the toilet. Toss cat into toilet. Close lid. Cat cleans itself and the toilet. Just run when you let the cat free.
EvilUndead 9
Animal cruelity. Cat will be either scared for life, or will get really angry Seriously pissed off house cat can be a problem up to the point where you'll have to call 911.
wanderingshopper 13
Gee make sure you tell YOUR family that how they need to clean you up...
vladimirnabokov 15
Take him to the groomers. Or call his vet and ask if there's a mild sedative you can give him to relax him so he will let you bathe him? I know that my dog used to get really freaked out in cars, and his vet said it was okay to give him half of a Benadryl tablet. Worked like a charm. He was calm and eventually knocked out. Might not work for a cat though.
BinaryGuy 22
Definitely talk to a vet before doing this, cats on average are a bit smaller than dogs, so you probably wouldn't even need a half a tablet.
vladimirnabokov 15
Agreed :)
exnavyando671 1
ur a dumbass dude. scars after one day? Way to blow the story up. Just admit you blew it in the cat's face. Seriously
Omniprism 15
Warm washcloth. But she'll probably be the best at cleaning herself over time.
Spottedfeather 7
Why would you try to wash the cat to get the gum out ? That doesn't make any sense. Everybody knows that you get gum out of hair with cooking oil.
SoultheWolf 19
You can't put cooking oil on a cat's face.... It'd be best if he shaved the fur.