Cats, Cute and Animals: Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 17:41 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 425

You deserved it 10 070

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Same thing different taste

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 628

You deserved it 8 426

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 020

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 235

You deserved it 89 747

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 962

You deserved it 40 858

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 140

By murphy22 - 24/08/2012 09:33 - United States - Norman

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 643

You deserved it 2 822

By Anon O'Mous - 02/01/2012 15:38 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 5 696

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 390

You deserved it 22 958

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 418

You deserved it 836

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:55

"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 January 2013 23:04

Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.

Comments

catanita 18

Wednesday 30 January 2013 9:00

You should try clipping it's claws.

AJE98 5

Wednesday 30 January 2013 12:30

Looks like your going to pet smart

guemarez 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 13:16

As cat owner myself, I have two words for you, Pet Groomer.

EvilUndead 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:04

You had it coming - cats are curious.

caysters 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:10

This reminds me of a post I've seen on Facebook about how to clean a cat... Toss soap into the toilet. Toss cat into toilet. Close lid. Cat cleans itself and the toilet. Just run when you let the cat free.

EvilUndead 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:48

Animal cruelity. Cat will be either scared for life, or will get really angry Seriously pissed off house cat can be a problem up to the point where you'll have to call 911.

wanderingshopper 13

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:44

Gee make sure you tell YOUR family that how they need to clean you up...

vladimirnabokov 15

Wednesday 30 January 2013 14:55

Take him to the groomers. Or call his vet and ask if there's a mild sedative you can give him to relax him so he will let you bathe him? I know that my dog used to get really freaked out in cars, and his vet said it was okay to give him half of a Benadryl tablet. Worked like a charm. He was calm and eventually knocked out. Might not work for a cat though.