Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Sticky situation" comments and pussy double-entendres in 3...2...1...
perdix 31
Take yer dirty animal down to PetsMart where the motto is: We're not ******* about cleaning cats.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
ulissey_fml 22
Mmm. ha
ulissey_fml 22
hairy situation, no?
Pleonasm 36
Apparently not.
ulissey_fml 22
Mmm. if you want to master the art of bathing a cat, you'll need to start from scratch.
mimiminx 23
You don't need to learn how to bathe a cat! They're self cleaning and actually it's really bad for them as it washes all their natural oils out of their fur.
Catkam623 27
Your an idiot that was a pun on scratch apparently just because it was original people can't recognize it.
mimiminx 23
Au contraire. I feel that, in fact, *you're* the idiot.
Shilokitten666 19
Your both idiots, its good to bathe your animals otherwise what would be the point of making feline shampoo, unless you're a vet, that of which my cousin is and speciallizes in felines, the dont post stupid advice that is wrong... Op wash the cat but maybe wear gloves and thick clothing to not get scratched
_krystallynn_ 11
cats cant effectively lick all of their face like they can their back or sides, and when its something like gum, it would rip their fur out and they would swallow it, causing hairballs. so i think the cats 'natural fur oils' can handle one bath.
ohcheriecherie 20
65 has never had a cat I guess. They lick their paw and rub their face. It works for them. Cause my cat has the face of a beauty queen, thank you very much
molzipan 16
Well 21 you're both right and wrong. Short haired cats don't necessarily need to be bathed regularly but if op has a long haired cat it should definitely be bathed and brushed regularly to prevent matting and the like. This is coming from someone who has been grooming for a long time. There is only so much an animal can do to keep themselves clean.
mimiminx 23
#57 actually, my husband is a veterinary surgeon, so I'm pretty sure my advice is safe to follow. Sorry to burst your bubble.
kinky44 28
Made you look
pedosmurf 7
Scars from last time? I didn't know scars can go away :)
Pleonasm 36
Whether they go away or not does not change the fact that she got scars from the last time she tried to bathe her. You're coming across as trying to correct by saying that she didn't need to say that detail because they never go away. However it's a necessary detail because she could have just as easily not gotten any scars, and the fact that she did, emphasisies how hard it will be to take out the gum given the cat's aversion to being bathed to the point of scratching with enough force to scar OP, regardless of the lifespan of a scar.
mimiminx 23
Basically what #22 is saying is that your comment didn't make sense. At all.
leadawg75 12
They haven't thats why he said that
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Some people take this site a little to seriously. Kind of takes all the fun out of it.
ulissey_fml 22
I don't want to burst your bubble every one, but gum is produced with a kind of rubber that is as resistant as tyres. the only thing that woks is cold, icy, freezing cold. I rub ice cubes when I want to clean chewing gum stuck on a jean. Wait. what's that cat doing in the icebox?
cartedor 18
I want to say, put pussy in the freezer haha. Seriously don't. animal rights people will be hunting you down if you do that
alitbaby 14
no body puts pussy in the freezer :P
XxQueenofPuppets 10
Last time I bathed my cats I wore an army jacket. It worked wonderfully!
ICastillo 25
Technically the cat is a thing....
ICastillo 25
Well I have an idea just put little mittens on the cat and then give him a bath...
TheBrochure 22
While that does sound adorable, cats are better at wriggling free than they let on. ;)
Enslaved 38
Pop that pussy, hey Pop that pussy, baby Pop, pop that pussy, hey Pop that pussy, baby (Gotta throw in a song lyric!)
Eluveitie 9
Did it have to be a shitty song lyric?
Enslaved 38
Sorry, I'm from Miami and a 2 Live Crew fan. We all have our guilty pleasures. Understandable they're not everyone's cup of tea. :P
Eluveitie 9
Fair enough. Who am I to judge?