By PghSportsNation - 02/09/2011 14:56 - United States

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 495
You deserved it 4 354

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Top comments

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Bummer. Maybe this means you should buy a new vacuum.

iAmScrubs 19

Make a ball pit with the pellets. Who doesn't love ball pits? I still go to the McDonald's play pen just for the ball pit.

Comments

...there's balls everywhere!!

LiveLaughFML 10

get to stepping and use a broom!

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Is that how you use that frase, " get to steppin' "? I always thought that it was a stupid way of telling someone to **** off, like scram or kick rocks. Was it just me? Anyone else? No takers, no?

LiveLaughFML 10

aha #29: i honestly don't know. I've never actually heard someone say it. that would be pretty weird. :P

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

31: Especially if they say "stepping" instead of "steppin' ". Then it just sounds like a mid-life crisis.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

I can just imagine the owner when te see the little white balls all over, "oh no! OH NO!!! Oh No!!!!" And the kitty with a wicked grin busts through a wall and says "ohh yeeeaaahh(said in kool-aid man's voice)". And then the owner hits the kitty in it's stomach with a baseball bat and the kitty's kool-aid juice spills all over the ground. The owner screams(in Cartman's voice) "bad kitty!!!!!!" Like that? South Park and Family guy reference all in one comment.

29- I'm going to sit here and wait until you tell me that you meant to misspell phrase.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

41: yes, as I addressed it in 35, say the frase out loud to yourself right now pronouncing the "G" in "stepping". Now pronounce it without the "G" as in "steppin". Does or does it not sound like someone going through a mid-life crisis with the "G" pronounced?

44, I don't think you understand what soty is asking. Hahaha I believe he was trying to make fun of your phase/frase misspell. (:

44, I don't think you understand what soty is asking. Hahaha I believe he was trying to make fun of your phase/frase misspell. (:

madidaywalt 0

phrase.. learn to spell

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

41, 49, 51: I know I spelt "phrase" wrong. It was intentional due the OP's usage of "broke" instead of "broken" at the end of their FML, but the FML has been moderated now so my joke doesn't make sense. Hopefully now you will understand.

Yes Miss Mustard, a likely excuse. And I'm sure your dog ate your homework, the check's in the mail, etc.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

67- Think whatever you want. If I made a grammatical error I would have said that I am a ******* idiot and crawled back in my corner. It was an intentional joke. If you don't get it or believe it, that's your problem not mine. And it's actually Mrs now, i just got married the 19th. =)) I should put that on my profile.

That's some veeeeeeeeery subtle "humour" you got there, ma'am. I have a feeling no one else got it either.

enonymous 8

Colonel Mustard must be a very happy man.

Finn_the_human 5

Curiosity killed the cat

This situation really sucks!

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

80 lol he is. We were planning our wedding for April 2011 when we found out we were expecting so we pushed the date back to August.

How'd curiosity kill the... *chokes and dies*

It's not even that bad of a situation... You just need to get off your ass and instead of writing this fml put some effort into it and just get it over with. Would take someone 10 minutes, big deal.

Is it the op who moderates comments?

no, the moderators do. DERP. read the rules maybe?

enonymous 8

Im shocked no one has said this yet. "Amy Winehouse would have found a way without a vacuum cleaner"

They moderated a comment in which I essentially said, don't be lazy and just clean it up... I don't see why that was moderated.

Odd... They took down 2 of my comments

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Bummer. Maybe this means you should buy a new vacuum.

Or this could mean... House sled!!!

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Great idea!! They can use the old POS vacuum as the sled and the broken broom to build momentum!

Stonedmanalex 0

Such a dirty dirty man

MyCleverName 2

56, great play on 2's name... Gotta Love The Beatles!

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

(says in a quivering voice as tears of joy swell in my eyes and sappy romance movie music starts to play) You don't know how long I have waited to hear someone say that!!

No, just rub your cat with a balloon to charge it up with static electricity and let in wander around the house until it resembles a large foam ball with legs.

qwacktastick 8

Or a new pet

SteelCladAngel 0

Better borrow one or get a new one, theyre dangerous for pets and humans to inhale or consume

I've got balls all over my pussy... Umm cat!!

Use the art of magic...

Poor penguin blood everywhere.Penguin blood destroys micro pellets.

Wait, what did you say about penguins?

iAmScrubs 19

Make a ball pit with the pellets. Who doesn't love ball pits? I still go to the McDonald's play pen just for the ball pit.

I think you just like...BALLS (; Jk xD

The ball pit at McDonald's???? The ball pit that the little kids piss in and wipe their booger fingers in??? You actually go into that den of filth??? I hope your tetanus shots are up to date.....

There's a ball pit at McDonald's?

Weetart 8

Buy a new vacuum...the expensive kind.

mgsoloist 14

D-D-D-DYSON. I love it :)

The only solution is...MICRO PELLET FIGHT!!! ;D

Your avatar is so awesome! But now I can't get the theme song out of my head...

jerico616 14

Cats are evil! Hopefully it chokes on one of the pellets!

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Only if you don't know how to deal with them, or if they've been raised to fear/hate humans. You gotta earn their friendship. If you want an unconditional little slave, get a dog.

mgsoloist 14

11-what is your picture..?? Like a demonic angel thing sucking on a *****...?

jerico616 14

Dogs suck, too!

Stonedmanalex 0

11- doesnt do enough acid or shrooms

You suck cat hater. And judging by your picture, you literally do.

I hope you choke on pellets. Ass.

Your a little sick minded.

Ferretface 13

Did anyone else read 64's comment and read it like, "You suck cat, hater"?

cupcakesnpot 9

103 your comment made me giggle (: and I personally did not read it that way, to answer your question.

Cats are awesome

Yes, they are!

It's a sign!! Your cat is begging you to clean the house :p

Hahaha! Very good.