Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
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By
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
Bummer. Maybe this means you should buy a new vacuum.
By
iAmScrubs
| 19
Make a ball pit with the pellets. Who doesn't love ball pits? I still go to the McDonald's play pen just for the ball pit.
COMMENTS
By
Nath1G
| 4
oh no!!
Reply
LuHGiiiT
| 11
...there's balls everywhere!!
Reply
LiveLaughFML
| 10
get to stepping and use a broom!
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
Is that how you use that frase, " get to steppin' "? I always thought that it was a stupid way of telling someone to fuck off, like scram or kick rocks. Was it just me? Anyone else? No takers, no?
Reply
LiveLaughFML
| 10
aha #29: i honestly don't know. I've never actually heard someone say it. that would be pretty weird. :P
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
31: Especially if they say "stepping" instead of "steppin' ". Then it just sounds like a mid-life crisis.
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Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
I can just imagine the owner when te see the little white balls all over, "oh no! OH NO!!! Oh No!!!!" And the kitty with a wicked grin busts through a wall and says "ohh yeeeaaahh(said in kool-aid man's voice)". And then the owner hits the kitty in it's stomach with a baseball bat and the kitty's kool-aid juice spills all over the ground. The owner screams(in Cartman's voice) "bad kitty!!!!!!"
Like that? South Park and Family guy reference all in one comment.
Like that? South Park and Family guy reference all in one comment.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
29- I'm going to sit here and wait until you tell me that you meant to misspell phrase.
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
41: yes, as I addressed it in 35, say the frase out loud to yourself right now pronouncing the "G" in "stepping". Now pronounce it without the "G" as in "steppin". Does or does it not sound like someone going through a mid-life crisis with the "G" pronounced?
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
44, I don't think you understand what soty is asking. Hahaha I believe he was trying to make fun of your phase/frase misspell. (:
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
44, I don't think you understand what soty is asking. Hahaha I believe he was trying to make fun of your phase/frase misspell. (:
Reply
madidaywalt
| 0
phrase.. learn to spell
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
41, 49, 51: I know I spelt "phrase" wrong. It was intentional due the OP's usage of "broke" instead of "broken" at the end of their FML, but the FML has been moderated now so my joke doesn't make sense. Hopefully now you will understand.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Yes Miss Mustard, a likely excuse. And I'm sure your dog ate your homework, the check's in the mail, etc.
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
67- Think whatever you want. If I made a grammatical error I would have said that I am a fucking idiot and crawled back in my corner. It was an intentional joke. If you don't get it or believe it, that's your problem not mine.
And it's actually Mrs now, i just got married the 19th. =)) I should put that on my profile.
And it's actually Mrs now, i just got married the 19th. =)) I should put that on my profile.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
That's some veeeeeeeeery subtle "humour" you got there, ma'am. I have a feeling no one else got it either.
Reply
enonymous
| 8
Colonel Mustard must be a very happy man.
Reply
Finn_the_human
| 5
Curiosity killed the cat
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morgan320
| 0
This situation really sucks!
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
80 lol he is. We were planning our wedding for April 2011 when we found out we were expecting so we pushed the date back to August.
Reply
boopityboppity
| 11
How'd curiosity kill the... *chokes and dies*
Reply
LedZeppelin1109
| 0
It's not even that bad of a situation... You just need to get off your ass and instead of writing this fml put some effort into it and just get it over with. Would take someone 10 minutes, big deal.
Reply
LedZeppelin1109
| 0
Is it the op who moderates comments?
Reply
Shrike
| 22
no, the moderators do. DERP. read the rules maybe?
Reply
enonymous
| 8
Im shocked no one has said this yet.
"Amy Winehouse would have found a way without a vacuum cleaner"
"Amy Winehouse would have found a way without a vacuum cleaner"
Reply
LedZeppelin1109
| 0
They moderated a comment in which I essentially said, don't be lazy and just clean it up... I don't see why that was moderated.
Reply
LedZeppelin1109
| 0
Odd... They took down 2 of my comments
Reply
Driveshaft
| 5
Pussy beads?
By
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
Bummer. Maybe this means you should buy a new vacuum.
Reply
Fruit_Dealer
| 9
Or this could mean... House sled!!!
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Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
Great idea!! They can use the old POS vacuum as the sled and the broken broom to build momentum!
Reply
Stonedmanalex
| 0
Such a dirty dirty man
Reply
MyCleverName
| 2
56, great play on 2's name... Gotta Love The Beatles!
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Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
(says in a quivering voice as tears of joy swell in my eyes and sappy romance movie music starts to play) You don't know how long I have waited to hear someone say that!!
Reply
HomeAl0ne
| 20
No, just rub your cat with a balloon to charge it up with static electricity and let in wander around the house until it resembles a large foam ball with legs.
Reply
qwacktastick
| 8
Or a new pet
By
SteelCladAngel
| 0
Better borrow one or get a new one, theyre dangerous for pets and humans to inhale or consume
Reply
tanneriscool
| 2
I've got balls all over my pussy... Umm cat!!
By
orphinz
| 3
Use the art of magic...
Reply
tigerlilypop
| 7
Poor penguin blood everywhere.Penguin blood destroys micro pellets.
Reply
Penguinman909
| 7
Wait, what did you say about penguins?
By
iAmScrubs
| 19
Make a ball pit with the pellets. Who doesn't love ball pits? I still go to the McDonald's play pen just for the ball pit.
Reply
IndigoAcrylic
| 9
I think you just like...BALLS (;
Jk xD
Jk xD
Reply
loserman67
| 35
The ball pit at McDonald's???? The ball pit that the little kids piss in and wipe their booger fingers in??? You actually go into that den of filth??? I hope your tetanus shots are up to date.....
Reply
FUUUandyourmom
| 16
There's a ball pit at McDonald's?
By
Weetart
| 8
Buy a new vacuum...the expensive kind.
Reply
mgsoloist
| 14
D-D-D-DYSON. I love it :)
By
IndigoAcrylic
| 9
The only solution is...MICRO PELLET FIGHT!!! ;D
Reply
allforus
| 5
Your avatar is so awesome! But now I can't get the theme song out of my head...
By
jerico616
| 14
Cats are evil! Hopefully it chokes on one of the pellets!
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
Only if you don't know how to deal with them, or if they've been raised to fear/hate humans. You gotta earn their friendship. If you want an unconditional little slave, get a dog.
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mgsoloist
| 14
11-what is your picture..?? Like a demonic angel thing sucking on a dildo...?
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jerico616
| 14
Dogs suck, too!
Reply
Stonedmanalex
| 0
11- doesnt do enough acid or shrooms
Reply
Juliet4evr
| 0
You suck cat hater. And judging by your picture, you literally do.
Reply
zombiekitten87
| 12
I hope you choke on pellets. Ass.
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hockey199813
| 5
Your a little sick minded.
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Ferretface
| 13
Did anyone else read 64's comment and read it like, "You suck cat, hater"?
Reply
cupcakesnpot
| 9
103 your comment made me giggle (: and I personally did not read it that way, to answer your question.
By
hockey199813
| 5
Cats are awesome
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Yes, they are!
By
disneyfan101
| 6
It's a sign!! Your cat is begging you to clean the house :p
Reply
Izabushel
| 65
Hahaha! Very good.