Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I bet you look hot.
alex6946 10
why don't you use makeup remover and nail polish remover? it simplifies things.
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Comments (198)
rubyredringpop 0
Then what are you doing on FML?
sexybunsrosey 0
use make up remover, and if u have none of that, moisturizer of some sort and a face washer lol everyone has moisturizer
zyxwvutsrqponmlk_fml 0
And** is misprlled in the FML, please fix this.
meg238f 0
Nothing is misspelled, except for your lame attempt to point out a flaw.
rmbennin 10
*misspelled. FAIL.
Eggers 2
I enjoy wearing fecal matter too. wait, you were talking about the makeup? oh... cough cough. awkward
blester259 1
then why the hell are you posting on here
meg238f 0
All that stuff should come off pretty easily. Soap, scrubbing and nail polish remover will get rid of it.
sweetpea9008 2
you all are dick heads why write that?! so inconsiderate!
rockerkid33 2
so you stop to wright a fml?
minktheshrink 0
You're 18, supposedly, and you spell "write" incorrectly. I see a bright future ahead of you...
l_e04 1
looks like someone is going to have a fun interview.
Erindub 0
A little water and soap will get the make up as for the polish I'm sure theres some remover in the house some where if theres polish