Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I bet you look hot.
alex6946 10
why don't you use makeup remover and nail polish remover? it simplifies things.
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Comments (198)
redc 10
this is why condoms were invented...
SnailJamsss 6
Let the kid have her fun. Ha.
oliveindamiddle 0
Yes I'm sure he has... but if he had some and it was working, I bet we wouldn't be posting this FML! silly girl (:
oliveindamiddle 0
this was supposed to be a reply to someone else's comment. lo siento.
Saint688 0
Am I the only one who thinks most FML's are total bs? Who would take the time to post this story on FML if they had to get makeup off and get to an interview?
jenna5960 7
Your fault for being a lazy father. Watch your damn kid or learn to keep it in your pants!
pinkXrainbow 0
what does that have ANYTHING to do with that?
touchmydong 0
did she color ur dick?
OCDC 9
I would hope she wasn't reaching down his pants! :O I don't think this was in Arkansas, was it?...
jessxoxo28 5
nail polish remover for the nails and hot water water for the face
shannybannyy123 4
I dont believe this , make up is extremely easy to get off with make up remover , and nail polish can come off virtually anything with a little nail polish remover , I got it on my hands before my cousins wedding and it came off very easily
AceShots95 0
Burnsauce
xxlauruh 0
<3