Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I bet you look hot.
alex6946 10
why don't you use makeup remover and nail polish remover? it simplifies things.
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Comments (198)
shithappens2memo 0
so did said mother not watch op's kid? or think it was too damn funny to stop her xD
kofinater 3
It sounds like this was done over night, idk about you but i don't think parents usually stay awake every night hovering over their child's bed to "watch them".
cloudia32 6
It's the thought that counts?
CockRocket 0
Don't leave flyers for drag queen bars around then and then say its for a job when asked about it.
TheBinksOhhhh13 0
Don't worry , you look GORGEOUS !:)
nashrox61 0
lol
shepy27 0
Aw that's cute sucks to be you tho
NufSaid 0
My sister did the same to me. except she painted my toe nails to.
Bigdawg42 8
Toenails isn't hard to hide, just put on shoes. Fingernails, that would be hard unless it was cold enough to wear gloves
AuroraHope 0
Aw, that sucks. How did the interview go? Where was your partner during all this instead of watching your daughter?
a7x_RoCk3r 12
"Today, i awoke..." I'm guessing sleeping.
ajsciri4 0
an apology and the truth should make him understand