Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, the lady in front of me in the checkout line had a pacifier hanging around her neck, but I didn't think much of it until it was time for her to pay. She reacted to the $250 total by crying like a baby and very loudly asking me to put the pacifier in her mouth to calm her down. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
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Top comments
Master_Beta_XD 0
How did you mistake a newborn child with a coconut? That's what I'd like to know. o_o
null_fml 11
Was it at least a baby coconut?
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Comments (112)
danzigPO_1939 0
****... DOUBLE COMMENT. that is how excited I am
headcreeps 0
LMFAO. this is awesome. favoring it nowww... :D:D
Witchcraft_fml 5
Epically classic. I wish I could have been there for the awkward moment that your "compliment" brought about.
keres 0
Who's to say it wasn't a BABY COCONUT?! YEAAAAAAAAAAH :D
blastvortex 4
Awww... What a cute wittle coconut....
NonExistance 0
For everyone getting angry at the OP for saying it was cute before they could see it, it was pretty stupid, but if you want to compliment them you don't walk up, examine the baby, and just say "ma'am, your baby if fugly." it's just a nice thing to do, but it's not reccomended.
i_stay_anonymous 0
...
silverx10 0
Babies are hideous, wretched little things. I think only baby birds share the same level of monstrosity, and they grow out of it pretty quick.
DameGreyWulf 1
LMFAO oh shit jesus, baby birds really are some ugly bitches. But we mammals can sure rival them sometimes. Baby chimps, anyone?
FlyingTomato7 0
lmao
poeticvibez07 0
most newborn babies look the same so what made it cute?? how do you mix up a baby and a cocunut??