Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!
redmane 21
Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.
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Comments (136)
simkire 7
Ouch ...
perdix 31
They make hookers for losers like you. Scrape together a few bucks, Lock-Pockets, and purchase some professional lovin' to break your shameful streak.
perdix 31
#54, thanks for your support. I feel like such a lucky punk, you made my day!
HelligKeit 5
Who knows, they could create a new sport of who can climax the loudest. Pay 'em extra if the hooker wins.
morepreetza 2
Maybe OP isn't a loser, but just has higher standards than ******* some asshole that thinks that people who don't have sex are losers.
RentaName 15
Look on the bright side. You have free live **** in the room next to you. It may just be audio, but you can use your imagination. Put your hand to work.
Bigbrodza 3
*cough* Hidden cams *cough*
M3LAKNEE 3
Another one bites the dust.
GimmeFive 10
Well instead of counting the months and feeling sorry for yourself, go out and meet some people
christy_ann 2
Threesome? lol
VooDooCarrie91 19
It bothers me that a 14 year old is suggesting a threesome..
mskimbelinapham 5
Celibacy should be voluntary... Good job?
CheeseTron 15
Sexual tension jellyfish.
etchsanity1 11
30 months ........... Ouch stay away from house pets and children til you fix it.
Nnycr 4
********** as comically loud as you can. Please.